Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Most Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Elephant Stew
Following the decision to utilize the carcasses of animals that fell victim to poachers, elephant carcasses became available in moderate quantities. To pave the way for the Elephant Carcass Export Company (ECEC) I founded last week, I bring you a recipe on how to prepare this African delicacy.
Ingredients
1 Large African Elephant carcass (Loxodontus Africana)
200 Bags Of Salt
500 Kg Pepper Corns
750 Pockets Of Potatoes
300 Bushels Of Carrots
200 Pockets Of Onions
200 Kg Of Parsley
1 Rabbit
Method
Cut the elephant in bite-sized chunks. This will take about six weeks.
Chop vegetables into cubes. Another four weeks.
Place meat in jumbo size missionary pot.
Add 5123.25 liters of water. (fire hose suggested)
Simmer for 28 days
Shovel in salt and pepper to taste.
When meat is tender add vegetables. (Electric conveyer belt recommended)
Simmer for another 14 days with the lid on.
Garnish with parsley
Serve warm on a bed of cold rice
The recipe serves about 3000 people. If more guests are expected, add the rabbit. However, this is not recommended because very few people like hare in their stew.
Anybody interested in investing in my new venture are welcome to apply. All inquiries will be handled in strict confidence. Only the gullible need to apply. No scammers please.
Have a joyful week.
Ingredients
1 Large African Elephant carcass (Loxodontus Africana)
200 Bags Of Salt
500 Kg Pepper Corns
750 Pockets Of Potatoes
300 Bushels Of Carrots
200 Pockets Of Onions
200 Kg Of Parsley
1 Rabbit
Method
Cut the elephant in bite-sized chunks. This will take about six weeks.
Chop vegetables into cubes. Another four weeks.
Place meat in jumbo size missionary pot.
Add 5123.25 liters of water. (fire hose suggested)
Simmer for 28 days
Shovel in salt and pepper to taste.
When meat is tender add vegetables. (Electric conveyer belt recommended)
Simmer for another 14 days with the lid on.
Garnish with parsley
Serve warm on a bed of cold rice
The recipe serves about 3000 people. If more guests are expected, add the rabbit. However, this is not recommended because very few people like hare in their stew.
Anybody interested in investing in my new venture are welcome to apply. All inquiries will be handled in strict confidence. Only the gullible need to apply. No scammers please.
Have a joyful week.
Things Mum taught me
I taught my daughter many of the same. Mums, eh?
Anatomy - Don't come running to me when you break both legs
Religion - you'd better pray that comes out the carpet
Logic - because I said so, that's why
Irony - keep crying and I will give you something to cry about
Precision - I could beat you to within an inch of your life
Wisdom - you'll understand when you get to my age
Justice - if there is any in the world your kids will turn out just like you
Anatomy - Don't come running to me when you break both legs
Religion - you'd better pray that comes out the carpet
Logic - because I said so, that's why
Irony - keep crying and I will give you something to cry about
Precision - I could beat you to within an inch of your life
Wisdom - you'll understand when you get to my age
Justice - if there is any in the world your kids will turn out just like you
...
...
...
Where/How Do You See Yourself 10 Years From Now?
A decade may sound like forever but not so...time flies
I've been blogging here for 2 years and still single!
Many here are blogging long before my time and still very much single
Makes me wonder why
Well, from what I read here, many are too good to settle for someone not so perfect....and they have every right to be picky
I'm not the type who think much about the future. I live life each day at a time...enjoy and appreciate it as much as I can. When my son talks about his dreams and plans for the future, it makes me smile to think of a happier life ahead. 10 years from now, he'll be an adult who knows and does exactly what he wants. I will be 49, hopefully will still like sex
At that age, I see myself sharing a life with the man of my dream...enjoying a fun life minus the worries and anxieties that I have now...
What about you?
Come on people, it's like a ghost town here ...let's have some fun ... I didn't take some phone calls just to post this blog...let's bring some life and fun in this blogland 
I've been blogging here for 2 years and still single! Many here are blogging long before my time and still very much single Makes me wonder why Well, from what I read here, many are too good to settle for someone not so perfect....and they have every right to be picky
I'm not the type who think much about the future. I live life each day at a time...enjoy and appreciate it as much as I can. When my son talks about his dreams and plans for the future, it makes me smile to think of a happier life ahead. 10 years from now, he'll be an adult who knows and does exactly what he wants. I will be 49, hopefully will still like sex
At that age, I see myself sharing a life with the man of my dream...enjoying a fun life minus the worries and anxieties that I have now... What about you?
Come on people, it's like a ghost town here ...let's have some fun ...
I didn't take some phone calls just to post this blog...let's bring some life and fun in this blogland 
Donald Trump
Like him or hate him You have to admit,
He sure does have a captivating Pizzazz,
No doubt about it The Force is strong in this one.
He sure does have a captivating Pizzazz,
No doubt about it The Force is strong in this one.
When The Novelty Wears Off...
...What would you do?
The thrill and excitement when I find something new always brighten my day, always give me that devious smile. It's challenging and I can't seem to get enough of it. Too much of it though can wear the novelty off real quick and when that happens, I move on and look for something new.
In friendship, I do give it my best shot but when it start to wear off, I don't like to try to modify it or to try to make it better...I simply move on and find replacement
In material things, there are stuffs that have sentimental value to me, they might be cheap and mean nothing to others but I will keep them for life, I value them more than my friends I guess
In relationship...( this is the tricky one )...if someone means a lot to me, I will fight hard for him. I did when I was married but perhaps I didn't try hard enough. With my BF, the novelty wears off and on again and that's because something always comes up that would reignite the fire and add new meaning and excitement to the relationship. Sounds crazy I know but that's me.
In online friendships...I do chat to some good friends here, did closely chat to a few but not for long, the novelty wears off...and simply moved on to the next one Nobody got hurt...it's just the way with online world I guess.
With blogging, the novelty is on and off, depends on my mood and the blog topics posted. When the novelty wears off, I take a step back, get on with real world and come back with some positive blogs ( if not s*xual and naughty ) ) ...aim to put some smile on others' faces.
Now, if it comes to sex... what if the novelty wears off ? What would you do? Would you do it for his/her sake, hoping it will get better or would you cut and run?
The thrill and excitement when I find something new always brighten my day, always give me that devious smile. It's challenging and I can't seem to get enough of it. Too much of it though can wear the novelty off real quick and when that happens, I move on and look for something new.
In friendship, I do give it my best shot but when it start to wear off, I don't like to try to modify it or to try to make it better...I simply move on and find replacement
In material things, there are stuffs that have sentimental value to me, they might be cheap and mean nothing to others but I will keep them for life, I value them more than my friends I guess
In relationship...( this is the tricky one )...if someone means a lot to me, I will fight hard for him. I did when I was married but perhaps I didn't try hard enough. With my BF, the novelty wears off and on again
and that's because something always comes up that would reignite the fire and add new meaning and excitement to the relationship. Sounds crazy I know but that's me. In online friendships...I do chat to some good friends here, did closely chat to a few but not for long, the novelty wears off...and simply moved on to the next one
Nobody got hurt...it's just the way with online world I guess. With blogging, the novelty is on and off, depends on my mood and the blog topics posted.
When the novelty wears off, I take a step back, get on with real world and come back with some positive blogs ( if not s*xual and naughty ) ) ...aim to put some smile on others' faces.Now, if it comes to sex... what if the novelty wears off ? What would you do? Would you do it for his/her sake, hoping it will get better or would you cut and run?
The Superbowl Winners to meet with Mueller lol
I'm not sure if you have been following this situation, or not.
But Dirty Don Trump started a whole big to do, because several of the black
football players decided to respectfully kneel, instead of stand up,
during playing of the USA national anthem.
They did so, because they (and others) believe that minorities are being targeted
by the police resulting in a much higher percentage of minority individuals in jail
and also being killed during arrests.
This is NOT Nazi Germany. There is no law stating that one has to stand.
But Trump and thus his mindless followers began boycotting (American) football games
putting some economic pressure on the NFL to make a change.
So, the NFL (National Football League) came out with a ruling, that players either have to
stand for the anthem, or remain in the locker room this year.
That may not make a difference, because so far, at least 2 teams agreed to pay player fines,
if they choose to kneel.
If interfering in sports (Dirty Don also withdrew an basketball champion meeting offer)
isn't bad enough Dirty Don withdrew an invitation to the Whitehouse for the Philadelphia Eagles,
the team that won the Superbowl in the beginning of this year.
Every team that has won the Superbowl has been invited and welcomed to the Whitehouse by past presidents.
But this year, Dirty Don Trump withdraws the invitation. The reason he withdraws the invitation,
is because he believes that there was Eagle players who took knee during the National Anthem.
He believes this, not from watching the games, as no Philadelphia Eagle player took a knee
during the entire football season during the National Anthem.
Instead, he saw pictures of players kneeling to pray long before the anthem was played.
What a moron !
So anyway, here is comedian Andy Borowitz's satiric column today in The New Yorker in response to this;
But Dirty Don Trump started a whole big to do, because several of the black
football players decided to respectfully kneel, instead of stand up,
during playing of the USA national anthem.
They did so, because they (and others) believe that minorities are being targeted
by the police resulting in a much higher percentage of minority individuals in jail
and also being killed during arrests.
This is NOT Nazi Germany. There is no law stating that one has to stand.
But Trump and thus his mindless followers began boycotting (American) football games
putting some economic pressure on the NFL to make a change.
So, the NFL (National Football League) came out with a ruling, that players either have to
stand for the anthem, or remain in the locker room this year.
That may not make a difference, because so far, at least 2 teams agreed to pay player fines,
if they choose to kneel.
If interfering in sports (Dirty Don also withdrew an basketball champion meeting offer)
isn't bad enough Dirty Don withdrew an invitation to the Whitehouse for the Philadelphia Eagles,
the team that won the Superbowl in the beginning of this year.
Every team that has won the Superbowl has been invited and welcomed to the Whitehouse by past presidents.
But this year, Dirty Don Trump withdraws the invitation. The reason he withdraws the invitation,
is because he believes that there was Eagle players who took knee during the National Anthem.
He believes this, not from watching the games, as no Philadelphia Eagle player took a knee
during the entire football season during the National Anthem.
Instead, he saw pictures of players kneeling to pray long before the anthem was played.
What a moron !
So anyway, here is comedian Andy Borowitz's satiric column today in The New Yorker in response to this;
In response to: Satire from The Borowitz Report
Philadelphia Eagles Accept Mueller’s Offer to Celebrate With Him
By Andy Borowitz
6:05 P.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Philadelphia Eagles have accepted Robert Mueller’s invitation
to come to his office and celebrate their Super Bowl victory with him, Mueller has confirmed.
The special counsel said that he was “absolutely tickled” that the Eagles had accepted his invitation.
“I’m a huge fan of the Philadelphia Eagles, and it turns out the feeling is mutual,” he said.
According to one member of the team, the Eagles accepted Mueller’s invitation only after being assured
that their visit would not in any way distract the special counsel from “getting his job done.”
“What Bob Mueller is doing is so much more important than any Super Bowl,” the Eagle player said.
“If he wins, the whole world wins.”
For his part, Mueller praised the Eagles for responding to his invitation so quickly, adding,
“I invited Trump to see me months ago, and I still haven’t heard back.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Philadelphia Eagles Accept Mueller’s Offer to Celebrate With Him
By Andy Borowitz
6:05 P.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Philadelphia Eagles have accepted Robert Mueller’s invitation
to come to his office and celebrate their Super Bowl victory with him, Mueller has confirmed.
The special counsel said that he was “absolutely tickled” that the Eagles had accepted his invitation.
“I’m a huge fan of the Philadelphia Eagles, and it turns out the feeling is mutual,” he said.
According to one member of the team, the Eagles accepted Mueller’s invitation only after being assured
that their visit would not in any way distract the special counsel from “getting his job done.”
“What Bob Mueller is doing is so much more important than any Super Bowl,” the Eagle player said.
“If he wins, the whole world wins.”
For his part, Mueller praised the Eagles for responding to his invitation so quickly, adding,
“I invited Trump to see me months ago, and I still haven’t heard back.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
The quartermaster's store
The bloggers included all commented on my last blog which seemed as good a way as any of selecting victims
Add a verse, make it worse
There have to be two lines before the chorus
Comment without a verse and you will get done too
Pick anyone you fancy even if they’ve already been ‘done’ my rhymes are awful
And for those completely bewildered - this is an old camping song and here it is
*disclaimer*
No bloggers were intentionally harmed in the making of this song
Starting here, starting now -
There was Side Side looking far and wide in the store, in the store
There was Lindsy, Lindsy, wearing something flimsy in the store, in the store
My eyes are dim I cannot see I have not brought my specs with me
I have not brought
my specs
with
me
Add a verse, make it worse
There have to be two lines before the chorus
Comment without a verse and you will get done too
Pick anyone you fancy even if they’ve already been ‘done’ my rhymes are awful
And for those completely bewildered - this is an old camping song and here it is
*disclaimer*
No bloggers were intentionally harmed in the making of this song
Starting here, starting now -
There was Side Side looking far and wide in the store, in the store
There was Lindsy, Lindsy, wearing something flimsy in the store, in the store
My eyes are dim I cannot see I have not brought my specs with me
I have not brought
my specs
with
me
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »