Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Most Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
A Death Threat.
I’m in grave trouble. Some guy is threatening to shoot me or run me over with his car. I’m soiling my underpants with fear. I’m too scared to leave the house.
I received a hand-delivered note in my mailbox yesterday informing me that the writer will kill me if I shag his wife again.
The solution is simple enough; just lay off her, but who do I cut out of my busy schedule? The guy did not tell me who his wife is and never put his name on the note.
How inconsiderate of him!
I hope there is no blue in your Monday.
I received a hand-delivered note in my mailbox yesterday informing me that the writer will kill me if I shag his wife again.
The solution is simple enough; just lay off her, but who do I cut out of my busy schedule? The guy did not tell me who his wife is and never put his name on the note.
How inconsiderate of him!
I hope there is no blue in your Monday.
Eureka!! I Found The Reason!
A recent inventory of the parts of our blog press revealed that most of the parts were either missing or unserviceable and I must make an urgent appeal to all the guilty parties to return those parts so we can get the blog press running on all cylinders again.
According to my information
Zman took the plunge and has not returned it yet.
Angel grabbed the opportunity and made off with it.
Jim hit the road and it has a bend in it.
Mimi stole the show and is baking cupcakes with it.
Ken broke the record and it is now useless.
Wallops beat the odds and it cracked.
Johnny lost the way and we can find it nowhere.
Snooky took the chance and squandered it.
Vivian broke the ice and it melted.
Usha split the difference and mislaid one of the pieces
Kalpataru took the brunt and has been missing since.
Ccincy lost the bet and it is still missing
Flutterby broke the curse and it is ruined for ever.
Lukie lost the track when it fell of his bike.
Hans broke the silence and it needs to be repaired.
Teenameena closed the deal and we cannot get it open again.
Calleis took the gamble and lost it.
Minerva spilled the beans and it is all over the floor.
KNenach seized the initiative and ran away with it.
Phoenix lost the momentum and it cannot be located anywhere.
Loulou broke the date and some of the pieces are missing.
Ummka took the hint and mislaid it somewhere.
Lindsy dropped the subject and it is no longer working.
Nidifugous dropped the case and it is broken.
Some unidentified body kicked the bucket and left a dent in it.
Management is still missing the point and needs it badly.
If anybody took or damaged any parts of the blog press that is not mentioned in the list, please own up and return it as soon as possible. With all these missing parts, it is no wonder that the blog production is down. So come on guys & dolls, our blog press cannot work without the parts. Let’s get these things back so we can get up to full production again.
No, don’t look at me. I took nothing. With only the blame left to pilfer, I’d be very foolish to take it. However, I did blow the whistle but it is still working. Ok!
A grand day to ya all.
According to my information
Zman took the plunge and has not returned it yet.
Angel grabbed the opportunity and made off with it.
Jim hit the road and it has a bend in it.
Mimi stole the show and is baking cupcakes with it.
Ken broke the record and it is now useless.
Wallops beat the odds and it cracked.
Johnny lost the way and we can find it nowhere.
Snooky took the chance and squandered it.
Vivian broke the ice and it melted.
Usha split the difference and mislaid one of the pieces
Kalpataru took the brunt and has been missing since.
Ccincy lost the bet and it is still missing
Flutterby broke the curse and it is ruined for ever.
Lukie lost the track when it fell of his bike.
Hans broke the silence and it needs to be repaired.
Teenameena closed the deal and we cannot get it open again.
Calleis took the gamble and lost it.
Minerva spilled the beans and it is all over the floor.
KNenach seized the initiative and ran away with it.
Phoenix lost the momentum and it cannot be located anywhere.
Loulou broke the date and some of the pieces are missing.
Ummka took the hint and mislaid it somewhere.
Lindsy dropped the subject and it is no longer working.
Nidifugous dropped the case and it is broken.
Some unidentified body kicked the bucket and left a dent in it.
Management is still missing the point and needs it badly.
If anybody took or damaged any parts of the blog press that is not mentioned in the list, please own up and return it as soon as possible. With all these missing parts, it is no wonder that the blog production is down. So come on guys & dolls, our blog press cannot work without the parts. Let’s get these things back so we can get up to full production again.
No, don’t look at me. I took nothing. With only the blame left to pilfer, I’d be very foolish to take it. However, I did blow the whistle but it is still working. Ok!
A grand day to ya all.
This House Is Haunted!
Last evening I paid a courtesy visit to the elderly couple who bought my house last year. I should have done it earlier but I have been so busy lately that I forgot to get around to it.
I was received rather stiffly but they invited me into the house. It was a queer feeling to be a guest in the house that was mine for so long. We made some small talk chatting about the weather and what not while the new lady of the house made coffee but the conversation just did not flow. The atmosphere was so thick, you could cut it with a knife! I decided to leave as soon as we had coffee.
When the hostess arrived back, she served the coffee and sat down. “Why didn’t you tell us the house is haunted?” she blurted it out. I was dumbstruck. I lived in the house for more than 30 years, 25 of them alone, and there never was a problem. I got visions my late grandfather patrolling the passage with his shotgun.
She went on to explain that her crockery starts rattling in the kitchen cupboards at random times, day or night and that it is driving them crazy. And just then, as if on cue, the crockery in the kitchen started rattling. They were petrified and I started laughing.
There is a well point in the garden with a raised reservoir. I rigged the ball valve of a toilet cistern to a micro switch to turn the pump on when the reservoir is not full. The pump is in a small locked enclosure on the back verandah next to the kitchen wall. Two mounting bolts are attached to the floor and two to the kitchen wall. Somehow, the vibration of the pump is transferred, along the otherwise solid wall, to the build-in kitchen cupboards. I had it all the time but I was so used to it that it did not bother me.
I took them outside to show them the ‘ghost’. When we went back into the house, my host produced a bottle of brandy and very soon we were laughing about the whole story. They thought I came to offer them half price they paid me, to buy my haunted house back.
You have a great day out there!
I was received rather stiffly but they invited me into the house. It was a queer feeling to be a guest in the house that was mine for so long. We made some small talk chatting about the weather and what not while the new lady of the house made coffee but the conversation just did not flow. The atmosphere was so thick, you could cut it with a knife! I decided to leave as soon as we had coffee.
When the hostess arrived back, she served the coffee and sat down. “Why didn’t you tell us the house is haunted?” she blurted it out. I was dumbstruck. I lived in the house for more than 30 years, 25 of them alone, and there never was a problem. I got visions my late grandfather patrolling the passage with his shotgun.
She went on to explain that her crockery starts rattling in the kitchen cupboards at random times, day or night and that it is driving them crazy. And just then, as if on cue, the crockery in the kitchen started rattling. They were petrified and I started laughing.
There is a well point in the garden with a raised reservoir. I rigged the ball valve of a toilet cistern to a micro switch to turn the pump on when the reservoir is not full. The pump is in a small locked enclosure on the back verandah next to the kitchen wall. Two mounting bolts are attached to the floor and two to the kitchen wall. Somehow, the vibration of the pump is transferred, along the otherwise solid wall, to the build-in kitchen cupboards. I had it all the time but I was so used to it that it did not bother me.
I took them outside to show them the ‘ghost’. When we went back into the house, my host produced a bottle of brandy and very soon we were laughing about the whole story. They thought I came to offer them half price they paid me, to buy my haunted house back.
You have a great day out there!
Same situation, different endings. (Joke)
Picture it: a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, two men and a woman are shipwrecked. A month passes. Now apply stereotypes (add any not already included)
If all were Italian - one man has killed the other to have the woman.
If all were French - an enjoyable ménage-à-trois.
If all were German - the two men have built the woman a snug little house, and have a rota of alternating visits to her.
If all were Greek - the men are together, and the woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
If all were Bulgarian, the men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
All three Japanese have faxed Tokyo, and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two Australian men are contemplating suicide because the Australian woman keeps complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
If all were Italian - one man has killed the other to have the woman.
If all were French - an enjoyable ménage-à-trois.
If all were German - the two men have built the woman a snug little house, and have a rota of alternating visits to her.
If all were Greek - the men are together, and the woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
If all were Bulgarian, the men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
All three Japanese have faxed Tokyo, and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two Australian men are contemplating suicide because the Australian woman keeps complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
Kiss And Tell : Your Love Stories...
Each of our own love story is unique. Some have multiple stories to tell...romantic, funny, tragic, painful...unique stories that we mostly treasure in our hearts and memories...that tend to put a smile on our faces when remembering them.
Here are some famous love stories in history:
Romeo and Juliet
Tragic love between Romeo and Juliet whose families despise each other and prevent the lovers to be together.Romeo committed suicide for mistakenly believing that Juliet is dead. Juliet followed her lover in death upon discovering his dead body.
Cleopatra and Mark Antony
Egyptian queen seduced a powerful (and already married) general, into a romantic and tenuous political alliance between their territories. Both Antony and Cleopatra committed suicide during the war rather than be captured when the alliance went sour when future emperor Octavian convinced the Roman senate that Antony was power-hungry and bewitched by Cleopatra and declared war.
Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal
He was so grief-stricken when she died during childbirth that he immediately began work on the Taj Mahal. It took 23 years to complete the homage, where he joined her at his own death in 1666.
Ines de Castro and King Pedro
Ines de Castro became a lady-in-waiting for Princess Constance of Portugal in 1340 and quickly stole the heart of her prince Pedro, the heir to the Portuguese throne. When Constance died in 1349, Pedro tried to make Ines his lawful queen — they already had three children together — but his father the king intervened, banishing Ines and ultimately having her murdered when geographical distance couldn't keep Pedro away. The act sparked a civil war between father and son and, when the latter claimed victory, Pedro exhumed his lover, built her a royal tomb, and had all of Portugal swear allegiance to Ines as their queen.
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert
The love that Queen Victoria felt for her husband Prince Albert was as genuine as her 63-year reign was long, say historians, and his untimely death in 1861, 40 years before hers, devastated the otherwise powerful monarch. Victoria favored the color black for the rest of her life and spent much of the last decades of her reign in relative seclusion. When she finally passed away in 1901, she was interred in their common mausoleum and had these words inscribed over the door: "Farewell best beloved, here at last I shall rest with thee, with thee in Christ I shall rise again."
Paris and Helen
The story begins with the Trojan prince Paris being chosen to decide which of three goddesses – Hera, Athena and Aphrodite – is the fairest. He chose Aphrodite because in return she promised him the most beautiful woman in the world. And the most beautiful woman was Helen of Sparta who, however, was married to King Menelaus. A few years later, Paris went to Sparta and took Helen to Troy by which he triggered the Trojan War.
Bonnie and Clyde
Bonnie and Clyde, lovers and criminals who traveled the Central United States during the Great Depression were not considered as romantic back then as they are today. Their gang was responsible for at least nine police officer and several civilian deaths. It is unsure how the couple met but it is thought that it was love at a first sight. When Bonnie and Clyde met (probably in 1930), the latter already had a criminal record but that obviously did not bother Bonnie. She decided to join him in his criminal undertakings and stayed with him until the very end. They were ambushed by the police in Bienville Parish, Louisiana in 1934 and killed. The couple wanted to be buried together but Bonnie’s family did not allow it.
What's your story?
Here are some famous love stories in history:
Romeo and Juliet
Tragic love between Romeo and Juliet whose families despise each other and prevent the lovers to be together.Romeo committed suicide for mistakenly believing that Juliet is dead. Juliet followed her lover in death upon discovering his dead body.
Cleopatra and Mark Antony
Egyptian queen seduced a powerful (and already married) general, into a romantic and tenuous political alliance between their territories. Both Antony and Cleopatra committed suicide during the war rather than be captured when the alliance went sour when future emperor Octavian convinced the Roman senate that Antony was power-hungry and bewitched by Cleopatra and declared war.
Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal
He was so grief-stricken when she died during childbirth that he immediately began work on the Taj Mahal. It took 23 years to complete the homage, where he joined her at his own death in 1666.
Ines de Castro and King Pedro
Ines de Castro became a lady-in-waiting for Princess Constance of Portugal in 1340 and quickly stole the heart of her prince Pedro, the heir to the Portuguese throne. When Constance died in 1349, Pedro tried to make Ines his lawful queen — they already had three children together — but his father the king intervened, banishing Ines and ultimately having her murdered when geographical distance couldn't keep Pedro away. The act sparked a civil war between father and son and, when the latter claimed victory, Pedro exhumed his lover, built her a royal tomb, and had all of Portugal swear allegiance to Ines as their queen.
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert
The love that Queen Victoria felt for her husband Prince Albert was as genuine as her 63-year reign was long, say historians, and his untimely death in 1861, 40 years before hers, devastated the otherwise powerful monarch. Victoria favored the color black for the rest of her life and spent much of the last decades of her reign in relative seclusion. When she finally passed away in 1901, she was interred in their common mausoleum and had these words inscribed over the door: "Farewell best beloved, here at last I shall rest with thee, with thee in Christ I shall rise again."
Paris and Helen
The story begins with the Trojan prince Paris being chosen to decide which of three goddesses – Hera, Athena and Aphrodite – is the fairest. He chose Aphrodite because in return she promised him the most beautiful woman in the world. And the most beautiful woman was Helen of Sparta who, however, was married to King Menelaus. A few years later, Paris went to Sparta and took Helen to Troy by which he triggered the Trojan War.
Bonnie and Clyde
Bonnie and Clyde, lovers and criminals who traveled the Central United States during the Great Depression were not considered as romantic back then as they are today. Their gang was responsible for at least nine police officer and several civilian deaths. It is unsure how the couple met but it is thought that it was love at a first sight. When Bonnie and Clyde met (probably in 1930), the latter already had a criminal record but that obviously did not bother Bonnie. She decided to join him in his criminal undertakings and stayed with him until the very end. They were ambushed by the police in Bienville Parish, Louisiana in 1934 and killed. The couple wanted to be buried together but Bonnie’s family did not allow it.
What's your story?
Did we lose our Greatness?
Okay, a man named Anthony Dream Johnson is on a mission to MAKE WOMEN GREAT AGAIN, along with some other men. Of course in America at a price tag of US$.2000.00 to attend his conference.
I don't believe that a man has to tell me how great or not I am nor how to be great. (Unless he is my father)
Funny enough they boast their advice will lead to a woman’s ability to have unlimited babies and learn how to be the “ultimate wife,” rather than a f*#@ buddy.
Please don't tell me that we have to go back to being barefoot and pregnant again.
I have passed that age.
High heeled and naked is all you can expect from me. I ain't wife material either.
Put on an apron Dream Johnson. I teach you some slicing and dicing. Even a condom.
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to the blurred blogger, Mollybaby, have a fantabulous day and I hope you've taken it off work and are going to have a thoroughly awesome day
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