Most Commented Humor Poems (1,865)

Boo!!!!!!!

caught a glimpse in the deep bush
glowing eyes of red in the distance
silence of several days
unheard noise coming from the woods
not even a leaf swaying in the wind
for there is not a gentle breeze
a look back a jack rabbit running across the field
not even a butterfly in the air
moon is visible in the blue sky
an eerie feeling not a soul in sight
climbing down a mountain
there is a blinding light
I cannot even see I fallen in a tree
a distant noise coming near
slight breeze picking up speed
sound of blades do not know
where it is coming from
high above a shadow being cast down
bushes being cut to the ground
I am being pulled away by the blades
I have not much time
this old man has got a date tonight
I am gonna be chopped alive
for I am just a dust mite
in this old grey beard

Some monkey ran off with my chick..
It's not fair!
Just because that crazy fool had
more hair on his chest than me I
get dumped..
Can somebody send a letter to that
tree swinging beast and tell him
to send my girl back home?

His Address:
Kongville Jungle
Swamp Heights
Zip 123banana-boy

"Mother is it true I was in your belly"
"Oh sure, my darling little Nelly"
Question answered a child walks away
Smiling smuggly a mother watched her play
Ten minutes later, the child is back
Mother stop to look at her in her blue frock
"If I was in your belly, mommy is it fair to say
When you ate food hit me in my head every day?"
Speechless at first, Mother soon recover
To explain life to a child far too clever
But what else was there for her to do
This child could never be age two

We're all guilty
of it..
Is it because they're
brown and small?
Or because they
invade our kitchens,
and crawl up our
wall?
We flick them accross
the room, and grind
them into the rug
But did we ever stop
to give one a hug?
Oh, no! We smash them
like pancakes
They get squeezed
between our toes
And the losses they've
suffered only heaven
knows
Just a lil' brown bug..
Ain't that what we say
Just spray those suckers
and they'll stay away!
'Oh yes! my friends..'
The Ant Police are
coming!
And they're taking down
names
So you better start
running!
Go ahead! Smash one
more ant, and you'll
end up in court
Don't get caught laughing
at this poem
or you'll be on report!

driving many miles tryen to make some money it's taking all my dimes for the fuel prices are on the rise can't even get a burger for 99 cents. i must deliver my load tho my stomach is growling throat is dry haven't eaten in a day or two

driving in the country taking the back road
there was a crow pecking on the road for it got a piece of meat it flew off in the trees. i got closer must have been a coon for i felt a bump. that gave me an idea, so i can eat tonight
stopped my truck got my knife scraped it off the road
but the worms will cook too,put it in a zip lock bag
that just wasn't enough for i haven't eaten in a day or two
got back in my truck put it on ice
started rolling maybe i can find more
saw a skunk on side of the road
think i'm gonna swerve and get me some
felt a bump think it was a hit
got my knife stopped my truck
got my bag oh think i'm gonna have a delight
i'm gonna keep the legs in case i
loose a finger then i'll have a bone for a replacer
but it just wasn't enough for i haven't eaten in a day or two
got in my truck and put it on ice
it's just not enough to fill me up
started driving getten down the road
i see somethen flat came to a stop
got my knife. looks like use to be a squirrel
but there is nothing left. i'll keep the head
there might be an ounce or two. put it in a bag
went to my truck put it on ice
thinking this might be enough
got my cooker mixed them all in
found a mud puddle for water i needed
chopped em all up boiled them dry
got some salt added some pepper
for it was smelling like an old pair of dirty socks
my stomach was growling can see a rib
havent eaten in a day or two
i think it's done gonna try and chew
think i broke a tooth. oh nevermind
that wasn't mine

had too use a bathroom
went to a truck stop
and used their stall
sat on the captains chair
for i saw the writting on the wall
there was a circle
looked like a tennis ball
it said if your bored
you wanna play a game
of toilet tennis
it said look left
so i looked left
there was a circle on the wall
it looked like a tennis ball
it said look right
so i looked right
there was a circle on the wall
it said look to the center
i looked to the center
then it said look left
so i looked left
then it said look right
so i looked right
then look to the center
then realized i was playing
toilet tennis with my
freaking head.

bright lights
closed eyes
dark night
sharp knife
peanut butter
milk duds
won't you
come and get
some
scortched lips
sun's crest
dairy farmers
moons best
hope you
got some
baseball grandpa
shake a stick
don't get hit
car wreck
peel away
bannana
I think you
need one
fruit kiss
passion love
I think you want
some

Love is our friend,
Love is our foe,
It can bring us happiness
It can bring us woe.

It can cause us joy
As it causes sadness.
So how, may I ask
Can we put up with this madness?

Is it the tears of happiness?
Or the tears of sorrow?
That make us feel emptiness
If we don't see them tomorrow?

Love is a sensuous
Yet harsh kind of feeling,
It may hurt us badly
While it works it's healing.

Love is not a Guy
Or Girl kind of thing,
But can take things away
With the good things it can bring.

Love can take us forever
Although it happens so quick,
And it makes you so elated
It can make you feel sick.

You can talk on forever
And still know not what to say.
It may change from sweet to sour
In just the length of a day.

But this to you my friends,
I must openly confess,
That I really would like to be
Caught up in all this mess!

So simple, Yet profound
A Trail, a link, a chain
Diversity of meaning
In each and everyone