Most Commented Humor Poems (1,865)

When that booty went by,
I thanked the good Lord for making it,
The way you walked past wiggling and shaking it,
Looking like two pitt bulls fighting under a blanket,
Lets go to my place and get buck naked,
I want to touch it, want to taste it,
I want to pound it and try to break it,
One thought just keeps coursing through me,
"Man oh man I want some of that booty..."

It was found on the street,and then put in the trunk.And it topped off a full load of nothing but junk.Though it no longer ran,but was so very clean,`twas the junkiest junk that ever was seen.When I got it home,they said "see if it starts." Then I had noticed,its missing some parts.So I then looked around for some parts I could use,then I had thought,how much time could I lose? So I looked at the clock and I found lots of stuff.Then I had wondered,is all this enough? I got it to work.It worked well but was old.I decided to keep it unless it got sold.Many things have I found,all that had been thrown out,and that`s what this story was really about.

Some dark-skinned people seek to lighten their skin colour
By applying skin creams to make themselves fairer
Most of those creams have some chemical matter
That can cause serious health problems later
Their use is common in countries like India
Where beauty and fair skin tone go together
Girls are encouraged to avoid too much exposure
To the sunshine which can make their skins darker

But some white-skinned people who are born fairer
Are not satisfied with their natural skin colour
And wilfully seek more sunshine exposure
To get a tan and make their skins darker
For them a skin that is darkened looks better
And is more beautiful than their natural colour
Yet, for white people, sunlight overexposure
Can lead to a deadly form of skin cancer

Some animals like to wallow in muddy water
Which when dried can change their outer colour
This serves as a temperature regulator
And keeps off skin pests of one form or another
Animals do not seek to change their skin colour
To consciously make themselves fairer or darker
Such weird action is purely human in nature
In this crazy world of people's skin colour

Hic, Hic, hicup oh my
had several drinks
over the last few hours
and my poor head is spinning

Hic pardon me 'tis the drink
my feet seem to be both left
I keep tripping over ouch
maybe a last one for the road

Hic that was not so wise
my hame is down this way
uhm maybe not I can't see
everything is in triplicate

"Hey there Tommy help me hame
I can not seem to find it"
"Well, Jimmy my lad, dear me
you sure are a sad sight

Looking like you fell
landing in a dirty gutter
lets get you to your hame
afore ought else happens"

Staggering along together
they heard the bells ring
"ock, New Year, hells bells
the hen will be mad at me"

I promised I would be hame
afore the midnite hour
Jimmy, came a harsh call
get your backside in here

Hey, hen do not be mad
I brought Tommy hame
he helped me after I fell
pour us a round of drinks

Let us toast in the New Year
several drinks later
not a simple peep
just the odd snore and snort

hen scottish for partner or wife
hame scottish for home
midnite scottish for midnight

Hot steaming
Spicy Soup
Warming my
Hungry ribs
On a raw, cold
November day

I got a kiss from a little girl,
I was twenty and she was twelve,
I smell jasmine scent on her face,
She blushes and pull my hair!



I am her knight in pajamas,
Little did I know that I would be her victim,
A crush on that age would be so enormous,
One day she would shudder at the thought of kissing a frog!

Afflictions created addictions.

Owe something dwelled within.

They call it sin, I call it life.

Reach for you but your not there.

I say I don't care owe I do

Am bound by smoke of Corporation

Miss you very much.

Owe everything else was walk in the park.

The stop drinking constant partying ceased with ease.

So sad piling coffee in to me the substitution owe its

such a bad trip.

Funny coffee helps me sleep.

Time is money,
Money talks,
Talk is cheap,
Time means,
Nothing,
It seems...

A druggie started tweaking,
More than the rest of them,
On one said occasion the
Rock Fairy came to him...,
He was sad cause he
was out of Cris and crack,
She said "Don't worry little fiend,
I'll find you a sack.",
In a flash a monkey
appeared on his back,
A drug sniffing dog helped him
search house to house,
Till finally they found
the fabled white mouse,
Some chickens came through
but they were no use,
The birds were dirty and
each flew the coop,
The addict was in the attic,
Chasing the dragon,
When the Clydesdales pulled
the wheels off the wagon!,
So he yelled "Lets go!"
and "On with the show!",
Then they all went skiing
up mountains of snow,
Puffing out clouds of
purple green smoke,
The bloke awoke broke,
Sucked up, too skinny,
Hungry for food because
he'd hadn't eaten any,
Lonely and old without
a friend in the world,
Losing everything in life,
Thinking it cool,
Go to sleep now kiddies,
And don't play the fool...

Hey Mr. Doctor
I don't wanna go
Please Mr. Doctor
I don't wanna go
I just about passed out from that blood test
Not you are gonna make me confess
To all the crap and pop I consumed
Cause I don't want to end up in a tomb
Please Mr. Doctor
I don't wanna go
Help me Mr. Doctor
I don't wanna go
Cause you're gonna put on that glove
Then you're gonna shove
Where you're touching me I don't permit
Cause I don't want to be a puppet like Kermit
Please Mr. Doctor
I don't wanna go
Please Mr. Doctor
I don't wanna go
What's a good replacement for pizza?
What's a good replacement for Doritos?
I know
Donuts and fried chicken!
Donuts and fried chicken!
Wait a minute...
That ain't it