Most Commented Humor Poems (1,865)

Right through the looking-glass we go,
Perhaps to shrink, perhaps to grow.
To see what's on the other side,
And find what these reflections hide.

A rabbit white with tie, a bow,
Oh where did all the minutes go?
The dormouse fast asleep will be,
When we at last sit down to tea.

Those mocking turtle tears will drip,
Limp mallets will be hard to grip.
The red queen in a rage will cry,
"A crimson coat, or heads will fly!"

With Alice we'll meet friend and foe,
When through that magic pane we flow.
In case of bandersnatch attack,
Our vorple blades will snicker snack.

You know for fun you're overripe,
When Carroll's talking through his pipe.

There was an young woman from france
who wandered about in a trance
til one day she fell
into a wishing well
now they wish for a woman from france

i'm haven a bad day to much pressure
ready to snap i'm all ready at that breaking point.
just maken mistakes left and right
my life's turned upside down
now i'm told to just erase them
start a new and forget the rest
so stupid of my mistakes
they say go to school
then you'll be the sharpest in the shed
but i'm so full of led
i have no hope i'm so dull
i can never be # 1
always # 2 for you
i'm always in the dark
accept when you want me to bleed
my life is full of stress
for i am gonna break in half
they even make fun of me
and call me names
you know what they call me?
they call me a

oh your gonna love this scroll down

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PENCIL








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i don’t know what i am to you
all i know is i was born for you
you had me at first met
you love me too i bet
i may not be the first
let me be the last
who’ll help delete your past
and all unwanted memory
you don’t need to feel guilty
when you have me near
--
they said you don’t love me
you just wanted to use me
i know it’s not true
they don’t even know the real you
--
until the day comes
he messed you up
you left him and
reached out for me
hoping i could help
make you feel better
hoping i could help
erase all your suffer
--
they were right and true
you only wanted to use me
to delete your faults
your mistakes
your sins
caused from
Pencils

i knew i am only an-----
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ERASER

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Ref: 'breaking point' by kickit22, posted on June 10, 2011

have no poem
gonna go roam
want to be alone
to think of a poem
my mind is blank
gonna swim in a tank
maybe i can think
my name not hank
i want to pull a prank
her name is sue
she don't have a clue
i think she is new
she can be my stew
words come to
for a poem that is new
it goes like this
sue and hank
swim in a tank
and make a stew
that is new
nine months later
the stew is done.
cause our name is
hank and sue stew
with a little new brew

Bond sat there smugly, as a look of ecstasy spread over miss Moneythingies face, the last spoonful of strawberry sorbet disappearing as it slid slowly, provocatively off the silver spoon onto her tongue.....Only fifteen quid he thought...a snip in this backstreet dive that she had dragged him to........
M of course had forbidden any such thing...which was why Bond was there.....the expense accounts were watched over very carefully these days, ever since he had bought the silver plated Aston....
though, it was the platinum cigar lighter installed by Dunhill that pushed the bill over the edge...the final straw that broke the camels back....Oddly enough, miss Camelback....the enemy agent was across the way, and giving miss Moneythingy a knowing look....was that because he had stood her up last night?....another consequence of the curtailed expense account....He cursed all accountants under his breath as he took a pull on his very expensive Churchill Cigar with the gold band.....
As the smoke curled lazily out of his left nostril and drifted slowly toward miss Camelback, who was still across the way, still giving miss Moneythingy a knowing look, though now, as if all life had been drained from her and she looked like a stuffed rabbit.....yes...the expression had not changed in the last ten minutes, he thought as he calculated with his razor sharp mind that he only had to smoke another two hundred cigars and he would have enough gold bands to melt down into a quarter ounce ingot to wear round his neck....
It was of course an act of childish indulgence and defiance, he thought, as he watched the crimson stain run down the front of miss Camelback's crisp white blouse, that definitely was not a remnant of something from the sweet trolley.....again wishing he had not stood her up last night.....feeling that he had missed some sort of opportunity....though what....he will never now know......
"Light me James", miss Moneythingy said....which was an odd request he thought, as she always wore flameproof cotton........

Out of the toilet bowl,
comes a twisted fowl,
And the midnight howl,
Gazed by the Ghost owl.

Beware the 3am hour,
with the scent of Jasmine flower,
comes the most wicked power,
From duck eyes in blue colour.

The mouse is mightier than the pad,
And ice creams are not bad,
For over bearing bearded dads,
Who sings like church choir lads.

The cat never meows at the moon,
The cows never jump in noon,
And I will never flick my spoon,
If you never read and laugh soon.

It had me hooked its fair to say
No matter how tired, I was game to play

Blisters on my fingers and palms
Still I toiled without any qualms

The rewards you see were plenty
Sitting at times reading quietly

First weeks the shoots appeared
Then birds flew in as I'd feared

I had planted enough for them and me
My crops were pollinated by the bees

The birds swooped in, creating a din
Fighting, pecking each other, twas a sin


The greed I had never seen before
They were so full they couldn't fly anymore

But I'd put a net over my crop
The birds were full of seeds I'd dropped

I'd won for now and await the growth
The birds can have some there's enough for both

where are my glasses?

aha! at last I found you

sitting on my nose

Liam is the man
he brought us
duck then frog
now Tinkerbell
and Peter Pan
whatever next?
one thing I know
the part of him
I want, desire
is that brain
magically
it works
inventive
utterly madly
insane in a
most sane way
yes that's the bit
I want so hands off
its mine