Most Commented Humor Poems (1,865)

A jazz band
Playing via Zoom
Through the fog of fever
In the room
A sneezing guitar
An anosmic saxophone
A trembling bass
A confused piano
A hickuping trumpet
A coughing drum
And a hoarse-voiced singer
All wishing
A Happy New 2022 Year
And for Covid
To disappear

On and On and On she goes ~
She knows not when to quiet her never ending gibberish.

On and On and On she goes ~
Having no understanding or concept
As to the drowning affect that her
Voiced pen is having on others.

On and On and On she goes ~
Caring not for one infinitesimal second
That she is actually driving some talented poets bonkers!

On and On and On she goes ~
Does she not ~ within the realms of her actual life
Have even one person to actually
Listen to the abundance of words
That she so obviously has
Floating in the concaves of her skull?

On and On and On she goes ~
The more I read
The more my heart brakes
With feelings of compassion and sorrow
For this lonely unhappy soul.
Will she ever stop?

I implore just one kind and compassionate man
Who is reading this
To have pity on us and end
Her quest for attention
Thereby giving the rest of us some peace.

Hey ~ come on now ~
Be A Good Sport!
Lol !

pouted lips waiting
head turned to see something new
result: a missed kiss

There she is, sitting across the bar
Glancing me and me at her. She's doing
The feminine stuff that makes MEN
Become animals!

Smiling so innocently, flipping her hair,
Glancing just enough to keep me roused!
Eye contact? Hell YES! Body language,
Oh yeah.. PANT PANT PANT!

I'm getting fidgety, squirmy, I'm getting
A bad case of the sweats, my heart is racing
My... better not go there.

It's getting late; all night I've kept
My cool, my composure composed, my male
Hormones locked in a safety deposit box.
I'm going to blow it!

How do break the ice? Hi, how are ya babe?
That ain't my style.
Your face is so beautiful, it's like
Gum on a hot parking lot surface,
It just sticks with me!
You know all gooey, stringy?
Crash and burn number two!

Another round of liquid courage,
And I'm off!
Hi, I say, I've been watching you
Smile at me all evening.
You have a beautiful smile , I tell her.

She says thank you, and she would
Love to have a drink.
So I lay out $5.00 and order
Her another green color drink
She's having.

By the way, she says, I was glancing
At the TV behind you!
I lick my wounds, down another round,
And try again!

Bill and Kimmy's married bliss
Went on for just a year.
But something then became amiss
And Kimmy's health got queer.
When making love nigh every time
She fainted straight away.
So they told the doc about this sign
To see what he would say.
I'm afraid I've got bad news for you
You need to take a seat.
You see there's nothing I can do
This problem will repeat.
And next time that it happens, dear
It might cost you your life
Tell Bill your bed he can't get near
If he really loves his wife.
For days on end they suffered so
Upstairs in bed she slept,
Him on the couch the floor below
And every night she wept.
And then one night he couldn't last
He thought about her kisses sweet
So up the stairs he had to dash
And halfway up they both did meet.
I was comin' up to kill you, Kim
I'm afraid I cannot lie.
No worries love she said to him
'Cause I was comin' down to die.

Gone fishing, won't be back till late, gonna catch me a big un, boy I just can't wait

Been trying for years to catch this fish, it's as big as my arm, if not a foot longer, this time i'm gonna win, i'm leaner, fitter and stronger

Hours passed by, not a bite in sight, until the line jerked, i've got it I yelled!!!...and reeled him in with all my might

I raised my line and to my suprise, it was a tiddler on the end, a finger bite size..

'This is not good' I said with a sigh, how can I go back empty handed with just this tiddler, not enough to fill a pie

I headed back home with an empty basket, my dreams of catching the big un, it would of filled a casket

Took me a detour and went to the pub, wanted to quench my thirst to drown my sorrows, no catch, no pike, not even a chub

Still, I thought, a tall tale wouldn't go astray, I'll tell the lads in the local about the one that got away

'Oooh, it was as big as a house I said, I struggled so much I fell in the lake, I was such a mess

By the time I'd finished the story, you'd have thought I cought good old Ness....Or should I say Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster!!!

He is a man in the past
Keep something in his heart
Keep something in his mind

His words reflect his mask
Hiding behind his own truth

There is a fear to face the world
His heart was broken so many times
His heart feels something to explode

He looks funny with his mask
He feels comfortable with his mask
That is the life he ever searched for
To make the world laughs in a bitter word

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I once did a SEXY questionnaire
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Question one: mention size you desire

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Question two: short or long?

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Three: thick or strong?

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Shame, they didn't have me samples to compare!

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P.S. It's about men muscles lol

I once had a friend try to borrow
My money with tales of sorrrow.
And so he did say
I need it yesterday!
"No Problem! Just ask me tomorrow!".