Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Most Commented, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
The real Profile
Gender:...Yes.........
Yearly Salary:
Four dollars a day...X...
25,000-50,000 a year....
12 Trillion a month.....
Status:
Single....
Married....
Separated...
Hopeless..X..
Need more time...
Do you smoke?
2 cigarettes a day....
1 pack....
40 packs a day....
Your hobby:
Watching ducks in the park....
Nothing....
Playing dead in the street....
Stealing Fire Trucks....
Eating grass..X..
How did you find out about us?
1. I didn't
2. My mother
3. A prison guard
4. A flood victim
How old are you?
1.18-25
2.35-50
3.50-94
4.God only knows
Have the following code
carved on your forehead:
ZZ-443-9oJJ**6^^..
....................
What do you hope to find
at Connecting Singles?
1. All my missing socks....
2. A chance to explain...
3. If aliens really do exist...
What kind of woman are you looking for?
1. The first kind who is not like
the second kind....
2. The second kind who is never the first
kind but acts more like the third kind
which they say doesn't exist anyway...
Sign Here...Cafetwo2010..................
Don't call us, we'll call you.
Yearly Salary:
Four dollars a day...X...
25,000-50,000 a year....
12 Trillion a month.....
Status:
Single....
Married....
Separated...
Hopeless..X..
Need more time...
Do you smoke?
2 cigarettes a day....
1 pack....
40 packs a day....
Your hobby:
Watching ducks in the park....
Nothing....
Playing dead in the street....
Stealing Fire Trucks....
Eating grass..X..
How did you find out about us?
1. I didn't
2. My mother
3. A prison guard
4. A flood victim
How old are you?
1.18-25
2.35-50
3.50-94
4.God only knows
Have the following code
carved on your forehead:
ZZ-443-9oJJ**6^^..
....................
What do you hope to find
at Connecting Singles?
1. All my missing socks....
2. A chance to explain...
3. If aliens really do exist...
What kind of woman are you looking for?
1. The first kind who is not like
the second kind....
2. The second kind who is never the first
kind but acts more like the third kind
which they say doesn't exist anyway...
Sign Here...Cafetwo2010..................
Don't call us, we'll call you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2012
About this poem:
lol.
A Summer Riddle
the first time
is always
the hardest
the last time
is always the best
the next time
may never again happen
but this time
i'll pass the test....
flying
colors....
what time is it?___________________
is always
the hardest
the last time
is always the best
the next time
may never again happen
but this time
i'll pass the test....
flying
colors....
what time is it?___________________
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2011
About this poem:
What time is it for you?
what's in a W.O.R.D.???
what's in a W.O.R.D.
Warts
Obviously
Require
Drugs
Women
Often
Remember
Dreams
What
Occasionally
Removes
Discouragement
Witchcraft
Occultism
Resembles
Death
Wacky
Observations
Ridiculous
Definitions
What
Other
Remedies
Develop?
Warts
Obviously
Require
Drugs
Women
Often
Remember
Dreams
What
Occasionally
Removes
Discouragement
Witchcraft
Occultism
Resembles
Death
Wacky
Observations
Ridiculous
Definitions
What
Other
Remedies
Develop?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2011
About this poem:
Just a chance to exercise your creative acronym talentsFaking it.
I've been called a femme fatale,
but I think that I'm a fake.
I never meant to be the cause,
but true, some hearts did break.
You might consider me to be
a wolf dressed up as mutton,
but I've never yet met a femme fatale
with a self-destruct button.
but I think that I'm a fake.
I never meant to be the cause,
but true, some hearts did break.
You might consider me to be
a wolf dressed up as mutton,
but I've never yet met a femme fatale
with a self-destruct button.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2011
About this poem:
Looks better now! Thanks Bill (otherwise known as Fellman)
Thank God! (a limerick)
.. .. ...
There once was a girl Emily
.. .. ... ..
She was dumped by her sweetie
.. .. ... .. ..
And, she cried all night
.. .. ... .. .. ...
And, she prayed all night
.. .. ... .. .. ... ..
She prayed, “Thank God saved me from STD!”(HIV)
.. .. ... .. .. ... .. ..
There once was a girl Emily
.. .. ... ..
She was dumped by her sweetie
.. .. ... .. ..
And, she cried all night
.. .. ... .. .. ...
And, she prayed all night
.. .. ... .. .. ... ..
She prayed, “Thank God saved me from STD!”(HIV)
.. .. ... .. .. ... .. ..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2011
About this poem:
^_^ Special Thanks --> MacDuff, I know how to write a limerick poem because of his poem "LimeRick".... And THANK YOU everyone here for being so niceeeee to me))))) -->_<-- I wanna see you all and give a BIG BIG HUG/each!!!! ^_____^ well, this is my 1st poem in 2011!! Happy New Year with(out) STD))) LOL :P
"In-Sane"
the souls lay in wait
of dawn
to scream their pain
of sudden scorn
rivers of blood swept through the veins
an untouched love
struggling to tame
moving, striking, seething mass
heaving untold terror
on an uncharted course
unfolding darkness
shunning the light
to wreak its havoc
on mere mortals
they slurp
bloated and unguarded
they sleep in gripping pain
but for we
do we grasp in fear
that one not knows
who is sane
``````````
Don't pick me!
of dawn
to scream their pain
of sudden scorn
rivers of blood swept through the veins
an untouched love
struggling to tame
moving, striking, seething mass
heaving untold terror
on an uncharted course
unfolding darkness
shunning the light
to wreak its havoc
on mere mortals
they slurp
bloated and unguarded
they sleep in gripping pain
but for we
do we grasp in fear
that one not knows
who is sane
``````````
Don't pick me!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Nov 2010
About this poem:
Now on a lighter note, I choose "C"Sophia
xx
polar bear
---- IMAGE REMOVED because photobucket.com no longer allows embedded images ----
They said take
a running jump
so that is
what he did
now in mid air
nearly there
eat your heart out
said the bear.
mind i aint
landed yet
just halfway there
was the polar bear.
you can make
you can get there
if you dont
sad twill be
and we say
goodbye polar bear
They said take
a running jump
so that is
what he did
now in mid air
nearly there
eat your heart out
said the bear.
mind i aint
landed yet
just halfway there
was the polar bear.
you can make
you can get there
if you dont
sad twill be
and we say
goodbye polar bear
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Nov 2010
Post Comment
fishin' lines
in morning time i write some lines,
i'm fishin'
at noon, in a nooner, i see some rhymes,
i'm fishin'
when drivin' down the road, pullin' my load,
i'm buildin' a couplet, a stanza, an ode
i'm fishin'
always thinking what to say,
i'm fishin'
can i say it in a better way,
i'm fishin'
wanna be with you tonight, to say it just right,
i'm fishin'
lying in the bed on this moonlit night
i'm fishin'
eyes closed dreamin' of tomorrow sometimes
always thinkin' 'bout poems 'n rhymes
keepin' my mind goin' in cadence with chimes
i'm fishin'
© agoodguy2have 2010-04-26
i'm fishin'
at noon, in a nooner, i see some rhymes,
i'm fishin'
when drivin' down the road, pullin' my load,
i'm buildin' a couplet, a stanza, an ode
i'm fishin'
always thinking what to say,
i'm fishin'
can i say it in a better way,
i'm fishin'
wanna be with you tonight, to say it just right,
i'm fishin'
lying in the bed on this moonlit night
i'm fishin'
eyes closed dreamin' of tomorrow sometimes
always thinkin' 'bout poems 'n rhymes
keepin' my mind goin' in cadence with chimes
i'm fishin'
© agoodguy2have 2010-04-26
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2010
About this poem:
anybody got a hook?spel chak
OMG mi spel chak's brokan
wat M I noww tew doo
yat stil I rite thiss GD puem
tew git ma messige outt tew yew
I'l bi a dicktionary tew halp misalf
tew halp thes puem en tha teling
I'l spel bi loking upp thise wurds
fanding uot thi korrect speling
I kno I'l gat mi poant akross
sew U'll kno jas whut I'm saaeing
wyth miy own haand terning thi peges
I'l rite duwn wurds konveying
Xactly wat I meen sew yew'll
kno miy tru thughts annd hart
I'l empres weth thughts brright
An yew'll kno thun I yam smaart!
© agudguy2hev 2010-05-31
wat M I noww tew doo
yat stil I rite thiss GD puem
tew git ma messige outt tew yew
I'l bi a dicktionary tew halp misalf
tew halp thes puem en tha teling
I'l spel bi loking upp thise wurds
fanding uot thi korrect speling
I kno I'l gat mi poant akross
sew U'll kno jas whut I'm saaeing
wyth miy own haand terning thi peges
I'l rite duwn wurds konveying
Xactly wat I meen sew yew'll
kno miy tru thughts annd hart
I'l empres weth thughts brright
An yew'll kno thun I yam smaart!
© agudguy2hev 2010-05-31
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2010
About this poem:
wat kin I saay
A Reason for Leaving? (lol)
Ah yes….Coffee please babe,
Two sugars, not too milky,
Stirred three times anti clockwise,
With a left handed spoon.
Sorry, about being fussy with coffee,
Is that why you’re leaving?
Or is it because of that thing,
You know,
The thing with all the hair,
Every time there’s a full moon?
It’s alright babe, you can tell me,
Is it because,
My trainers walk on their own,
Well, I say walk,
They sort of hover,
Half an inch above the floor,
Uppers to soles no longer sown?
And yes before you bring it up,
I know it took ages,
For me to clean behind the lavatory,
Must admit though, it was scary,
I would never have believed,
Something like that,
Could survive outside a laboratory.
I know I could change if you gave me time,
Hang on,
Just wait here a minute,
Promise I’ll be quick,
Oh….Only my washing….
It’s been there now for about two weeks,
On the washing line.
Yes I know, I’ve had two whole years to change,
But you’re not giving me a fair chance,
I can’t really see what’s wrong,
I thought love conquered all,
Or,
Is there someone else perchance?
Two sugars, not too milky,
Stirred three times anti clockwise,
With a left handed spoon.
Sorry, about being fussy with coffee,
Is that why you’re leaving?
Or is it because of that thing,
You know,
The thing with all the hair,
Every time there’s a full moon?
It’s alright babe, you can tell me,
Is it because,
My trainers walk on their own,
Well, I say walk,
They sort of hover,
Half an inch above the floor,
Uppers to soles no longer sown?
And yes before you bring it up,
I know it took ages,
For me to clean behind the lavatory,
Must admit though, it was scary,
I would never have believed,
Something like that,
Could survive outside a laboratory.
I know I could change if you gave me time,
Hang on,
Just wait here a minute,
Promise I’ll be quick,
Oh….Only my washing….
It’s been there now for about two weeks,
On the washing line.
Yes I know, I’ve had two whole years to change,
But you’re not giving me a fair chance,
I can’t really see what’s wrong,
I thought love conquered all,
Or,
Is there someone else perchance?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Aug 2010
About this poem:
LOL......XXXPoems entered on these pages are copyrighted by the authors who entered them. They cannot be reproduced without the author's written consent. © Copyright 2001-2024. All rights reserved.
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