Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Most Commented, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
Yellow Techno
Hearts warmed and mellow
Feeling like candy jell-o
Trusting, not like Othello
Beautiful like ladies in a bordello
Sour like cherry morello
Sweet and yummy like Carmello
Bright and lovely in canary yellow
Stranger than an odd fellow
Chilled down to the marrow
Rolling and waving in a billow
Sitting under a sad willow
Peaceful on a silky satin pillow
Measuring kindness in a kilo
Natural as the Bay of Tiberius grotto
Driving a luxury limo
Wearing a shiny crystal halo
Repeating words that echo
S'il vous plait monsieur fellow
Get swaying move that elbow
Go tripping in the meadow
Stuck together like Velcro
Hovering over a memo
As we simply mellow
Out in shades of rainbow yellow
Keeping up an even tempo
Among an edgy crowded metro
To the sounds from a cello
Delivered like a turbo
Awesome yellow techno
Bravo, Bravo
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Nov 2014
About this poem:
"Make your day full of shunshine, then share it with a stranger" ~Bliss~
pity penny pie pence (Jade's Challenge)
pity penny pie pence
pops pips passing pigs
piles piled, piling, peaked
prohibitive pinnacles.
perhaps peach pits
penny's palative pleasures please?
"perfect peachy pit!"
penny pie pence piped.
playing ping-pong
paddling pits
pow! ping! pit poked penned pigs
pigs picked pens' pegs
pushing prancing pouncing
pity penny pie pence.
...pity penny pie pence
prevailed past pig pelting
past passing........passed..
Proudly posing
"Pineapple Princess Penny"
proclamation proclaimed--
per Penny's prized
"Positively, pleasurably,
palatively pleasing,
procuring perfectory,
Penny's Pine-apple Pies"
pops pips passing pigs
piles piled, piling, peaked
prohibitive pinnacles.
perhaps peach pits
penny's palative pleasures please?
"perfect peachy pit!"
penny pie pence piped.
playing ping-pong
paddling pits
pow! ping! pit poked penned pigs
pigs picked pens' pegs
pushing prancing pouncing
pity penny pie pence.
...pity penny pie pence
prevailed past pig pelting
past passing........passed..
Proudly posing
"Pineapple Princess Penny"
proclamation proclaimed--
per Penny's prized
"Positively, pleasurably,
palatively pleasing,
procuring perfectory,
Penny's Pine-apple Pies"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2014
About this poem:
Inspired by Jade's P & Ragdoll poems...*pips(of oranges)/seeds of oranges
Seeking women 134 to 798
Call me if you can hear
Read me if you can see
These are my age ranges
Anyone above the age of
798 I won't respond to
I won't
I just won't.
Cafe
lol
Read me if you can see
These are my age ranges
Anyone above the age of
798 I won't respond to
I won't
I just won't.
Cafe
lol
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2014
Post Commentrapturecapture
Watch out all gallant knights
Those red ruby lips
She's all that and a bag of chips
O yes, another Irish maiden..
She'll spin you around with a
whip and heels
Take that in stride
See how that feels..
La rapturecapture
Those red ruby lips
She's all that and a bag of chips
O yes, another Irish maiden..
She'll spin you around with a
whip and heels
Take that in stride
See how that feels..
La rapturecapture
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2014
About this poem:
For our mysterious facinating maiden..so talented..so sweet soooooooooo!
Cat Attack (kickit's aptly appealing alliteration) Trial aka Challenge
Cats crave cream
CAT craves cocoa
CrazyCAT chasing cold chocolate chariot
Arrives around alley and architectural arch
Adept at adapting, always attempt an accession
All avenues appear appealing,
As appetite assails attention.
Teasing truck travels to tantalizing treat traders..
Tempting troubled trek toward tall tailgate.
Testing teeny tiny tiptoes...trying tis this -
Then trepidation.. taking tantamount truffles.....
Truly terrific... the Tastiest Today(!!!!!!!)
CAT craves cocoa
CrazyCAT chasing cold chocolate chariot
Arrives around alley and architectural arch
Adept at adapting, always attempt an accession
All avenues appear appealing,
As appetite assails attention.
Teasing truck travels to tantalizing treat traders..
Tempting troubled trek toward tall tailgate.
Testing teeny tiny tiptoes...trying tis this -
Then trepidation.. taking tantamount truffles.....
Truly terrific... the Tastiest Today(!!!!!!!)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2014
About this poem:
CATching up to a Kickit challenge... (Kickit, I might have broken some rules-not sure-from Cat "the Chocolate Fiend")
How much is that snake in the window?
How much is that snake in the window?
The one with the six hairy legs
How much is that snake in the window?
Look, it sits up and begs
I’m going to Hell in a hand basket
And my sweetheart a present I’ll leave
With the snake in bed curled around her
She will not have time to grieve
I don’t want no tiger or spider
With my luck they might bite
And teeth marks all over her body
That just would not be right
How much is that snake in the window?
The one with the six hairy legs
How much is that snake in the window?
Look, it sits up and begs
The one with the six hairy legs
How much is that snake in the window?
Look, it sits up and begs
I’m going to Hell in a hand basket
And my sweetheart a present I’ll leave
With the snake in bed curled around her
She will not have time to grieve
I don’t want no tiger or spider
With my luck they might bite
And teeth marks all over her body
That just would not be right
How much is that snake in the window?
The one with the six hairy legs
How much is that snake in the window?
Look, it sits up and begs
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Mar 2014
Post Comment
Mama's Advice
Dear Mama, I have a cat who just gave birth to a litter of five cats. My boyfriend is jealous of all these cats and wants me to get rid of them, or at least have the cat spayed, what should I do?
Mama, Keep the cats and have your boyfriend fixed.
Mama, Keep the cats and have your boyfriend fixed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2014
About this poem:
Enjoying my Season 2 DVD of Mama's Family. This episode has Mama helping Aunt Fran with an advice column. The show is one of the funniest I have ever seen.I could tell
I could tell you how many holes it would
take to fill the Albert Hall, but tea time
revelations might bore you
I could tell you the reason you get no
satisfaction but you might be forced to
believe differently
I could tell you that you ain't nothin' but
a hound dog, but your parents probably
beat me to it
I could tell you that when the Levee breaks
you' ll probably be on the wrong side of
the arguement
I could tell you that if you're in a red 57
Chevy you're probably pregnant
I could tell you that all the divinity in the
universe most likely resides in the eraser
of a #2 pencil
I could tell you that if 27 was 4, and 63
was 9, then the future would be decided
by the reflection in a cats eye, but what
is that to you?
I could tell you more but you might be
late for work and may be forced to
pack a lunch'
What more could I say? Lol.
take to fill the Albert Hall, but tea time
revelations might bore you
I could tell you the reason you get no
satisfaction but you might be forced to
believe differently
I could tell you that you ain't nothin' but
a hound dog, but your parents probably
beat me to it
I could tell you that when the Levee breaks
you' ll probably be on the wrong side of
the arguement
I could tell you that if you're in a red 57
Chevy you're probably pregnant
I could tell you that all the divinity in the
universe most likely resides in the eraser
of a #2 pencil
I could tell you that if 27 was 4, and 63
was 9, then the future would be decided
by the reflection in a cats eye, but what
is that to you?
I could tell you more but you might be
late for work and may be forced to
pack a lunch'
What more could I say? Lol.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2013
About this poem:
This is actually the kind of crazy talk I've heard peoplesay back in the 60's and early seventies. Lol.
Damaged goods
Ladies gather round!,
What an offer I have for you!,
One fairly good dude,
Rarely abused and barely used,
Cleans up well
Just a little dirty,
Lookin like fifty,
but only past thirty,
Had a rough life but
there's some use left,
Not an exercise buff so
let me catch my breath,
A lot of loud music
left me slightly deaf,
And the sniffer don't work
so I've no sense of smell,
But like a old hound dog
loyal as hell,
A handy Jack of all trades
master of nil,
But whatever I do I do it very well
Cooks , cleans, even takes out garbage,
Who's in the market for a really good bargain?
What an offer I have for you!,
One fairly good dude,
Rarely abused and barely used,
Cleans up well
Just a little dirty,
Lookin like fifty,
but only past thirty,
Had a rough life but
there's some use left,
Not an exercise buff so
let me catch my breath,
A lot of loud music
left me slightly deaf,
And the sniffer don't work
so I've no sense of smell,
But like a old hound dog
loyal as hell,
A handy Jack of all trades
master of nil,
But whatever I do I do it very well
Cooks , cleans, even takes out garbage,
Who's in the market for a really good bargain?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2013
About this poem:
A lil something lolA short story
Once upon a time a man waited
sixty years to make love to a woman.
He married, and made love to his
wife.
Sixty seconds later she said,'Thank
you.'
The End
sixty years to make love to a woman.
He married, and made love to his
wife.
Sixty seconds later she said,'Thank
you.'
The End
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2013
About this poem:
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