Humor Poems (1,872)

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The Exam

No exam that I ever had to do ... thank goodness

A drunkards poem #2

Once a pun a TIm e.. ¥ 2 +9 ------- = 4 ANy wa y. On ce a pond a t ime a wom@n went to LIVE I n thE woods She ESCAPED from the IRS.. $ She said thE IRS was a Whore$ She traveled dow n a Narrow path And a green Chicken chewe

Live,Laugh,DIE!,DIE!

Even a poorly scripted movie like" Leprechaun 4 Leprechaun In Space" can brighten up my day, but EvilBong still takes the cake ….Cheers

E-logical world

Well its flat where I'm standing from my left to right. .....lols

a walk in the bush

As i walk through the bush with the wind blowing my hair. I looked up an saw birds sailing through the air Then one dove down an i did leap straight in a dung heap. I was covered in odor. How i wished i could have got a cold shower but not until i re

World Cup Love

Those six long weeks every four years can put a test to the best of relationships for those who have no interest in football.. we love to hate and yet love to love.... now we have the UKs Tennis to contend with...sheesh...lol

FRIEND

AN HOUR ON TNE TREADMILL,, :-)

You're so fine

Bought some new china today! :-)

Exequy Shindig

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca ~ Just a thought…. Cheers

Woman Wanted

Mistaken Identity

Down around ankles were his trousers as he caressed her he said wowzers finding there no lady it was all so shady as he always seemed to pick posers written 05/22/2014

Pork and Beans

One of those stories where someone who knew someone that knew someone that this happened to

a treasured rose

a special gift from the light within

Laughing

Life is just one long joke We designed and planned it We laugh in the irony Of the mistakes made Of words left unspoken Words which hurt should not have been said And all the strife and pain. What does the soul think? Does it

crooked man

I was raised on a farm an use to sing to the cows to make them calm while milking them.

Sas tries to Rhyme

Okay I know it's cheesy, But I tried to at least Rhyme LOL

Music

I love music and I love car's but the rhythm's carry me far out past the stars The sounds fill me deeply deep to my core I can listen all day then listen some more The engine of music is throbbing with life To make beautiful music is t

Secret Recipe: Coffee, Tea or Rhyme?

glad to find out the flare up re: rhyming, has seem to have settled down...this is just a light hearted take on why and how some of us write...

who me?

Just playing and thinking hahaha

Silk Road Adventure

Yes this happened to me ! Should I tell?

The Jessetradamus Prophecies (Mr Cafe Challenge)

Mr Jim I also see in my visions that you will return my over due library books

Me love you long time

Helllow: Dude here..? Looking for a female with ruby lips to kiss on my face in the park.. Must go to the park and visit the big yellow duck.. I like the duck because he i my friend.. He told me stuff.. He told me woman would come because I

Mama's Advice

Enjoying my Season 2 DVD of Mama's Family. This episode has Mama helping Aunt Fran with an advice column. The show is one of the funniest I have ever seen.

The Horse from the Course (challenge)

Hmm... use this box to tell about your poem- What it's about - a limerick(I think- it says a limerick can be a nonsense poem of 5 lines) why I wrote it - b/c I like to be silly sometimes(& I've been told I should write a poem, tho I don't agree LOL) how I was feeling at the time - ambivalent... but brave for Dog(It's a Dog's Life poem)

Doctor out to lunch: Be back at I:00 pm

Thank you for waiting. Please fill out this form and state your illness. 1. Went crazy 2. Men are beasts, and I almost like it. 3. Women are claw masters and we definitely love it. 4. How many pills would you need to solve or enhanc

First flush of a different kind

Just another nutty moment from me that became more than a sentence :)...just for fun

Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. HUSBAND: God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi. He s

The end is near

time to push the cow off the cliff what a nice sacrifice hope God likes it ! now time for a beer

The other Abominable Snowman

time waits for no man but it has to for this Abominable Snowman. I watch the sunset yet in the backround a radio plays what's another year by johnny logan .. holy f*ck... think I'm about to throw up .. but glad all the sam

the lamp above tomorrowland

call it sunlight,i don't care ! for all anyone really knows it could be a giant red squirrel or a colour in bible oh tomorrowland kiss me hole ..............

2014.. Challenge ( What is your prediction) ?

Today you get to be a prophet, or prophetess. Your mission, should you decide to choose it, Is to divine the future and determine what state of affairs the world will be in by 2015. :The sky is the limit and you choose the topic. If your pr

Fanatical about Film

Mrs Magoo went to the cinema For the price of a shilling She thrilled to see: Cads Bullet-Proof-Monks And an exocet - shot up her own derriere! 'This is great what's next' she exclaimed Until I came along to rip out her poodle 'There's

down and out in area 51

what the f*ck goes on there at the weekends ? drinking beer and line dancing ? so who's taken the ufo horse to france ?

I was goofy off- lol

I came upon a tiny troll while dancing in a dream, with her hands filled with crayons she painted each new scene. The sky was pink, the sun quite purple the flowers crimson red, vermilion streams and crystalline dreams danced around her he

Holy balloons on the moon

I am winter when I am Africa and Africa is me in summer time floating down the Mississippi with holy balloons on the moon !

TENNIS ANYONE

There used to be a girl at tennis who always put the second tennis ball down her front whilst serving, not seen so much these days as modern girls tend to tuck the second ball into their pants!

Malibu

The sun beated down on me As I laid on the shore The salt is burning my sun burnt Skin In my delirium of dehydration I think I would love some water But with fair bit of Malibu.

Telecom

Just a bit of nonsense.

.........endless coffees............

Ciggarettes to endless coffees. Quiet as easter.

looney

Crazy?... Why does everyone keep saying that?!