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Humor Poems (1,871)

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Just dont

Just don't!

Secret intelligence from the survelliance "mast", shows life cant continue, it's growing too fast, ozone layers, emissions from cars, carbon footprints, it just can't last, The earth is heating up all too soon, the ice cap is melting, it's no

Really its only paper anyway

Really, it's only paper anyway!

I HATE when people tell me money does not grow on trees, its so annoying, I KNOW MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, I looked! But where does it grow?, not anywhere you or I know, tis in the coffers of the rich and powerful, in foolish hands, in fore

Onward we go

Onward we go.

The art of communication has changed, rearranged, instead of "I said", its now, "I was like" instead of " I said back" it's "I turned around and said", so they are constantly turning around (for no reason) being like something (for no reason) and T

Older questions

Older questions!

At twenty one and twenty five, you wonder who will be alive, at forty one and forty five, you just don't know who will thrive, at fifty one and sixty one, you wonder why you're not gone!

Gardeners Dilemma

Gardeners Dilemma!

Marigolds in June can thrive, its Cosmos that do survive, in April and May, who knows what to say, but certain roses bloom all year round, Chantilly Lace shows its grace, but Cinnamon Snow is the way to go. I think, well, it's swim or sink!

Dedicated to the day

Dedicated to the day

filling in time, Happy Easter all

But it was fun while it lasted

But it was fun while it lasted!

And tomorrow will be, oh yes, with or without you or me, its strange to see, such continuity, but that is the way, come what may, when playtime ends, it's goodbye my friends.

Poets

Poets

Obviously credt goes to John Taylor (24 August 1578 – December 1653)

Senryu too

Senryu too!

I woke up this morning, I'm glad that I did, but what a suprise!!!!!

Lime Rhyme on a Dime

Lime Rhyme on a Dime

Practicing rhyming even if its not generally my thing :)

Nothing

Nothing?

Sometimes, nothing means more!

Being Alive

Being Alive

If there is an art to writing or poetry, it comes from the heart not what you see, and all lifes troubles and happiness, are all laid bare, more or less, thats a wonderful gift given to few, the ability to express the real you, in words and thymes, t

When your number is up

When your number is up!

I don't want to play this numbers game, life has changed, its not the same, only yesterday I was 2 and 1, where the hell has that gone?, Woke up today, what can I say, I'm now 6 and 1, that didn't take long, so I suppose tommorrow will be the same

Senryu x 3

Senryu x 3

mucking around

The Trial

The Trial...

It seems senryu is taking over here temporarily. I thought I'd add a lighthearted attempt.

Far in the woods

Far in the woods

keep 'em brief, mental images

missed kiss

senryu (5-7-5) not half haiku

Southern Signs Continued

Southern Signs Continued...

Just having a bit of fun coming up with these at work one day with some colleagues. I hope they may elicit a chuckle or a smile to your day. I'd meant to post these around Valentine's Day, but got busy at work and time got away from me for a bit. Love ya'll!!

Southern Signs

Southern Signs

Just a bit of Southern humor.

Cowboy Astrological Signs

Cowboy Astrological Signs

A friend and I came up with this on a cold winter's night recently while reminiscing. I hope it brings a smile or at least a chuckle to ya'll.

AHA! (5-7-5)

Senryu (A short Japanese style poem, similar to haiku in structure, however, senryu tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryu are often cynical or darkly humorous and satiric while haiku are serious)

Shorty Hannah And Rita

Shorty, Hannah And Rita

Goody Mcgordy also know as shorty Had a sporty car His girlfriend was Sandra Mcfana also known as Hannah Had a little guitar So Shorty and Hannah went to Montana To play in a rockin band Swore he'd never leave her, but then he met Rita Mcfeve

irish words

irish words

I've been asked to write about Ireland, well, what can I say?, it's wonderful, filled with beauty and charm, tis true, we've got Guinness and something more, that we just can't ignore, we have Presidents come from the USA , no no let me rephrase, we

while we are at it

while we are at it

coupla bear jokes..

Heartfelt

Heartfelt?

So, the apples didn't grow this year?,Does it matter anyway, lose the fear, you can never ever stay here, the apples will reappear, when you are gone, but,,,,,,,,,,,,, you WILL be near, because you never really disappear, and all your love wil

Missons vision

Misson's vision

Reading about pirates, oh arrr

Joe

Joe

What good are all your millions Joe, if you have to pee and you can’t go!

SMUGJOY

SMUGJOY

Close to dawn well before the first slivers of sun you already foresaw with a shiver of glee what a wonderful day it was going to be so why do a repeat? Because towards twilight there'll be double-delight in the pro

Well this is how it is

Well, this is how it is!

So the Russians are on our shore, monstrous entity too big to IGNORE, and we will float out with our toys, pretend we are bigger, lies, we are just tiny,, little one fishing trawler,, ok,,, we know you are taller, you go away,,, and Ill have nothi

WHAT

WHAT?

Did you know that George (in some reality show) lost his watch in the snow?, Did you know that Stan was not really a man?, No? . neither did I,., but SHE did,,, ..........................................................OMG OMG, where do you live?, Do

Phonaesthetically speaking

Phonaesthetically speaking

Phonaesthetically speaking its like 123 Like William once told us, its like A B C So write your mystical thoughts And clever words that rhyme But make sure Iambic Pentameter Doesn't go sadly out of time, again, ooops!

Romantic or what

Romantic or what?

I could see the raindrops falling, and the comet in the sky, but there was a vision that enthralled from the corner of my eye, and I wondered was I dreaming and I wondered how this could be, because I have no peripheral vision, and I cant bloody s

Time to sleep

Time to sleep

Sitting here looking at my glasses, I've noticed they make my eyes blurry, the more I use them the less I can see, I wonder, how can this be? Is it my age?, or my demenour?, when my woman comes in I cant even see her! I think I should clean them, if

Nothing

Nothing

I think I should write about NOTHING, cause today, I have NOTHING to say, and NOTHING is more than its parts, it can ease or break many hearts, NOTHING means such a lot, you either have or you have not!, And NOTHING plays such a part, NOTHING can't g

Contains Quinine

Contains Quinine

Tonic water and Cuba

The viral blues

The viral blues

Happy New 2022 to us!

WORDPLAY

WORDPLAY

If from sleep I awaken I'm alive If I never wake up again I'm dead - which however I cannot experience I think this is unfair and to offer Death its fair share of existence I now rename ‘Life’ ‘Death’ At last I can enjoy the '

All we need is love

All we need is love)))

Just wanted to wish Happy 2022 to all our poets! stay safe, healthy, loving and loved ones))

THE SECOND THOUGHT

THE SECOND THOUGHT

What is more boring than dying? It’s a terrible waste of time: lying there twiddling my eyebrows or dreaming up words that might rhyme. Why don’t I chant a ‘te deum’ or swear repenting remorse or scream for succour or sanctum or plead for

Our World

Our World

Lets start a whole new world, just you and me, we will banish bankers, politicans, big business,leave everyone equal, how would THAT be?, are they as equal as me, hey, I'm taller, I need more space, cant be stuck face to face, and theres another, h

THE PERSIAN PETARD

THE PERSIAN PETARD

In a Tehran hotel I asked for a room “a small one if possible please” A young man with keys escorted me up a couple of flights selected a door and went in He told me the price and concealing my shock I decided on saving my face by requesting

13 26

13/26

Competition, who can write the longest sequence of rhyme using only one entry per time per letter in the alphabet. e.g. collide and cried is not allowed, just use one. I got through 13/26 letters in this one. Wonder if at, bat, cat could go more? Over to you if you can beat 13..

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