Secret code
Break this code O maidens and win a one month stay on a Pacific island with La Cafe all expenses paid. La cafe +maiden=(lipstick+wine), @ straw hut times seashells. Bare feet (moonlight)=wild laughter+screaming from mountain top (..dash.dash
" Awesome Kiss "
I posted some dark ones recently. This one is a lighthearted view of " The Corner ". Thank you for the inspiration dear ! He He.
inside ruins
i wrote this beating the chest for you laughing in a mad way sweet cinders my hair is growing long ha ha a big beard on my face just sinking deeper into the moss a gorilla just laughing at my own joke my mother today
Who viewed me?
Who I ask..viewed me? Could it be you? Was it your sister? Or perhaps your mother?! O, 'you said your cat stepped on your phone and pushed the view button' Then tossed it to the dog A pup you call Mutton And don't forget the bird with its t
extracts
The sedge has withered by the lake and no birds sing Is there still balm in Gilead? The moon walks the night in siver shoon In the winter of my discontent And yet great the day of joy to be born as the waves ripple over sand whilst greasy J
Maud
I sat in the garden alone The hibiscus in full bloom I was waiting for someone I thought of the man waiting for Maud Crying”Come into the garden Maud” Did she ever appear? But Maud had gone That was her name ‘Gonne’ Actress and feminist in h
Bill-----Limerick
There was a love bird named Bill he liked to sun on the sill himself admiring he was so charming until he had a big spill
Lily O'Pink
Lily O'Pink was famous for her vegetable compound which always gave some relief, the principal ingredient being Opium.
If I Only Had An A##
I saw this parody of The Wizard of Oz song "If I Only Had A Brain" on the Dana Carvey Show. He was one of my favorites on Saturday Night Live. He had some great impressions including the church lady, Ross Perot, and George Bush.
Chauvinist
A somewhat inflammatory gesture from an old male chauvinist,now reformed I hope. The submissive trait lingers in many women as evinced by the popularity of certain publications.
boxes
I pack my life Inside my boxes My first Lots of room I have As my life spirrals Lots of things I collect Memeries that I want And those that I want to forget The bad time out way the good times My dispair no time this box is full
Wayne's Challenge 2
Wayne maybe this is a better try. Thanks all for your read
extracts
Do you recognise the poems these lines are from?
Spring cometh!
In the winter months you would find me sleeping in my cave The bones of weaker prey are sprawled about None dare awaken me for death would be certain Yet my deep slumber is disturbed by the sent of female With a snarl I warn all would be co
If Only I Was A Poet
#5 Just something that leaked out my pen and formed before I could count to ten
What?
Did I say what? O, you must have said something.. I mean.. what? O...you need more coffee? Ok Well..It's............ FRIDAY! Yessssssss!
How much is that snake in the window?
How much is that snake in the window? The one with the six hairy legs How much is that snake in the window? Look, it sits up and begs I’m going to Hell in a hand basket And my sweetheart a present I’ll leave With the snake in bed curled aroun
Ninety Nine Bottles
Just a bit of humour
My Mama's gun
she's fine now, thank god she don't own a gun !
Curry In A Hurry (Part 2 of 2)
One by one the bowls were emptied They were all keeping apace The audience cheered, the excitement rose These were the best in the world Suddenly a gagging sound Poor Marie was beginning to stagger Smoke was pouring from her ears She was do
Three's Company
I got seasons 2-8 on dvd from my library. I have always loved this show. John Ritter was the glue that kept this show fun. They tried a spinoff called Three's a Crowd, but it lasted only one season since Jack wasn't playing off the girls, Mr. Furley and Larry. The show ran from 1977-1984.
The Family At Number Seven
I once knew a man who had three legs He was married to a woman who had two heads Now you might think that they looked strange But they were happy and couldn’t care less They had a son who had a rather long tail What the tail could do is beyond
back on track
Like a railway through a mountain pass,her eyes they shone like crystal glass,her ways were from another time,she had my heart, this heart of mine,but as the winds of time blow by,she dumped me for another guy,I no longer take the train
Country song
Just a song...Lol..A couple things do fit at the moment tho haha...
More Jokes
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
nun joke
Three nuns are learning to play darts First nun throws three twenties Second throws forty Third nun throws hers darts and misses So she lets the second nun stand near the dart board to check her aim She throws her darts again One dart m
One Bad Trip
Now I am off on a really bad trip Who said the circus was a really good tip, Millions of lions chasing me down A bearded woman and a killer crazed clown, People screaming, I'm losing my mind Psycho hosed elephants squashing mankind, Tripling tr
missing socks
ha ha ha lost the plot looking for socks i think angela flies in when i am asleep smiling stealing my socks ha ha joking baby
Joke
Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing. The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Jesus gets up t
the lodger
Would you want a tat worm living rent free in your tummy no thanx says i
Online Games and Facebook Friends
Decided to let those fb friends whose requests I have ignored all those years know not to waste their time in a very very long and winded way :-D feeling devilish today...well almost :-D
If I were a furniture
My funny take on inanimate objects around our homes... If they could talk... What would they be saying or thinking???? The mind boggles!
Someone, Anyone, No One......
It is really quite amusing.... Joining these online social dating sites In the hope of finding someone.... Nothing happens for someone just won't be found, Then we start looking for anyone..... But anyone isn't really around.... Then we slowly
Monorhyme
A bit of fun
Mama O
Laughing, laughing Merrily, Rushing and bubbling laughter, Cascading out her mouth See how she throws back the head, Arched neck As if to make sure the joke has gone down... Coming forward now and then, A smile that lights up the room And is
My other half
Just rolling some numbers around in my head...
Crazy World Of Skin Colour
Some dark-skinned people seek to lighten their skin colour By applying skin creams to make themselves fairer Most of those creams have some chemical matter That can cause serious health problems later Their use is common in countries like India
The Rabbit and The Mole
Hipperity hipperity hop bunny so full he could pop squeezes down his hole bumping into mole who gave his ear a sound wop
Fervid Frenzy
you confuse me then you call me and i don't know what to do. i'm enamored i feel hammered and it's all because of you. you're illusive you're exclusive you are lost and can't be found. i was waiting i'm debating on this merry life g
Justin Bieber
A parody of Justin Bieber's Baby. Just having fun with his recent arrest.
The Secret To A Happy Life
#4 Just a bit of good advice from an old hand. Take or leave it.