The Doctor
My mind keeps playing the role of a doctor Another therapy session every day or two There was a girl that's why my chart has lots of pages doctor My mind keeps trying to fix my heart from missing you The doctor says this is all very confidentia
A Prawn By Any Other Name.
Well...when you think about this poem in a metaphorical sense...it's really quite profound!
The Cat in the Hat
just a bit on nonsense
I am a little insect
Just a little ditty for kids
Cousins
I like my cousins they all like me They're the best cousins that ever could be They've all got medals for good behavior And they are humble naturally They're all good lookin' with hearts of gold And talk of bravery there's none so bold The
Dilemma Lemon
I got something you want to read You got something you want to say But you can't say a thing cause you don't write Now aint that a dilemma lemon So here is another line Won't you take another bite Detectives are everywhere but poetry is no
MY TELEPHONE INSIDE
Self talk. Be ready 24/7 for a "call" from your Telephone Inside. Just might be the one you've been waiting for. Just a little humor.
Wishful Thinking
Written in April, many years ago.
Internet Girl
I knew there had to be a reason...
INTERNAL LIE DETECTOR
Real reaction I feel when I'm untruthful, whether on purpose or not.
Without Salt
You look good enough to eat If indeed we ever meet, You will surely feel the heat, When our souls collide My sweet
Old Yankee Farmer
A traveling salesman upon meeting an old'timer Yankee farmer.
My Dog, The Cat
For my little guy!
I did it (Haiku)
Humorous Haiku for you....
Oscar speech
Just a compilation of some speeches I've heard on different award shows, Fiona Apple, Will Smith, The guy in American Pie, the woman who swore this year at the oscars.
Summertime
Summertime, Ella Fitz.., what great lyrics. Here's the backwoods version.
Swipe Right
Swipe right My daily rite (For as a man I need delight). Swipe left I feel bereft (Although it's quick As I am deft). Swipe right Maybe some night She will let me Be her knight. Well, I'm alone (And all out of fight) Today I'm d
That is Me
Well, That is me.....
Sweet treats
A yummy yummy couplet
Lucky Peas
A nostalgic memory from my childhood, I was nine and it was New Year's day, we'd had our dinner, complete with peas of course. Us kid's were galavantin' around in the front yard and I stubbed my big toe on the fence ( leastwise I thought I'd stubbed it) when grandma looked at the angle it was bent she sent for the doc who come down after about an hour or two, I hated black eyed peas for a long time afterwards.
Mannish
As I look back on my adolescence I realize I was quite precocious, the folk back then called it "mannish" in regard to boy's, and "womalish" in the case of girl's. I laughed out loud several times as I penned these memories. I hope the reader gets as much enjoyment from the reading, as I have the writing. ( I don't know if this should go under the catagory of "child" or " humor" ? Child humor?.
Doctor humour 2
Adapted from a Frank Carson joke
What's Your Elf Name? (Look and see!!! :))
Little Holiday Fun... (This was taken from an untitled web source)
Doctor humour
Nearly Xmas, time to write some humour..
**_**
Better To Give Without Promising ... What To Promise Without Holding ...
Mr Bean Bridget Jones
I know I can relate to this poem on a couple of occasions .lol... and I wished the floor had opened up and swallowed me up, however...if not at the time...on reflection ,I was able to see the funny side too :)
Laughed..I Cried :)
Had such a laugh tonight, soooooo funny !!
i am me by name.. tex me @ 543%--'"6775$$&-7764$'"#3466''%3456&'%3" $%5446&::'"*"&-775%';:""555*':''
At least 50 scammers this week. I love it! Lol. Cafe
simple
poems in silence sparse as winter branches leaving a few disheveled words without a script
O Gee, I guess...
A friend from southern rock band asked me to write a quirky song that they could use as an icebreaker. Now they want more. LOL
A Funny Story in Song...
Song/Artist in case you don’t know or forgot… The Night Chicago Died/Paper Lace; Photograph/Def Leppard; Sister Christian/Night Ranger; Centerfold/J. Geils; Red Red Wine/UB40; Wild World/Cat Stevens; Boys of Summer/Don Henley; Keep on Smiling/Wet Willie; Rock Lobster/B52s; Two Pina Coladas/Garth Brooks; Friends in Low Places/Garth Brooks; That Smell/Lynyrd Skynyrd; Jumpin' Jack Flash/Rolling Stones; Hell's Bells/ACDC; Black Magic Woman/Santana or Mac; Ladies Night/K&G; Brother Louie/Stories; Waiting For A Girl Like You/Foreigner; Mandy/Manilow; People Get Ready/Rod Stewart; Rock The Casbah/The Clash; Brandy/Looking Glass; The Boys Are Back in Town/Thin Lizzy; One Tin Soldier/Joan Baez; Horse With No Name/America; Bad Bad Leroy Brown/Jim Croce; Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/Beatles; Go on Take the Money and Run/Steve Miller Band; Don’t Take The Girl/Tim McGraw; Midnight Special/Creedence; Home By The Sea/Phil Collins; Island Girl/Elton John; Jukebox Hero/Foreigner; No No/Ringo Starr; Neon Moon/Brooks and Dunn; Bad to the Bone/ZZ Top; All I Want to Do is Make Love To You/Heart; Nights in White Satin/Moody Blues; Gimme all your lovin'/ZZ Top; Two Tickets to Paradise/Eddie Money; Bang Your Head/Quiet Riot; Pina Colada Song/Jimmy Buffet; Believe/Cher; Love Story/Katharine McPhee; Sitting on the Dock of the Bay/Otis Redding; Ahab the Arab/Ray Stevens; I Shot the Sheriff/Eric Clapton; Don’t Mess Around With Jim/Jim Croce; Big John/Johnny Cash; Get Together/Youngbloods; Layla/Eric Clapton; Solitary Man/Neil Diamond; Do you think I’m Sexy/Rod Stewart; You Better You Bet/The Who; Jet Airliner/Steve Miller; Rio/ Duran Duran; Magic Carpet Ride/Crystal Method; Midnight Train to Georgia/Gladys Knight; Band On The Run/Paul McCartney and Wings; I Swear/John Michael Montgomery; I’ve Got Too Much Time On My Hands/Styx; Keep on Rockin’ Me Baby/Steve Miller Band
NO MORE FREEBIRD (Listen to Freebird as you sing along)
There was a discussion on a band page about how entertainers are tired of being asked to sing Freebird while they are setting up. So I wrote... "Freebird is very popular and it brings back a lot of good memories for some people. I suggest that bands modify the song to make it fun for you. The most popular part is the outro ending. So if your band has a sax or 2 play it with the sax. If you have a very ambitious drummer, play it with the drums. Play just the last verse and ending. Be creative and change the words." After posting that to the website, my friend dared me to rewrite Freebird to express the sentiment. So, I did.
The Gobbledoth
The Murray River is a large river in Australia....the town Murray Bridge is locally known as The Bridge....
MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL
Shucks I turned the light back on!
Scare the Ghost
When sticks brush against your window pane And moon peaks through mist and rain When shadows glide accross the walls And clinking chains drag the halls When weird figures walk through doors And nails push up through hardwood floors
WHAT IS IN A NAME
Just some fun name places in Australia
Hurry Up
Nothing at all... :))))
Hard times
LUV YA..
Please nice lady
I could not help myself. After receiving about the tenth email today I had to let my humour run loose. One was from a woman from 'England' claiming to have a Phd, yet her english skills were abysmal.
Letter to Happygolucky4u
I'm sorry Happygolucky4u that this ended up here but I passed it on to you as quickly as possible.
My quantum lover
It's the weekend! Let's get some poetry up in the house..lol.
Mailman's Raingear
A soft gentle rain fell so had to keep my rain gear on. It looks so damn funny; the silly riding cape, the Harley biker chain, those little rubbers on my shoes, and the hat, oh my the hat. All so regulation all so 1950’s just climbed down off