nun joke
Three nuns are learning to play darts First nun throws three twenties Second throws forty Third nun throws hers darts and misses So she lets the second nun stand near the dart board to check her aim She throws her darts again One dart m
the lodger
Would you want a tat worm living rent free in your tummy no thanx says i
Fervid Frenzy
you confuse me then you call me and i don't know what to do. i'm enamored i feel hammered and it's all because of you. you're illusive you're exclusive you are lost and can't be found. i was waiting i'm debating on this merry life g
The Phone Poem
This hi-tech world's too hard for me, I text so very horribly!! It's true I forget to call back- so phone manners I must lack. I mean well always please believe. Salutations -so fun to receive! In person I would rather speak- Am
IDEAS
Written 6-16-07 I wrote over 100 poems while serving a 90 day sentence to keep myself occupied.
hmmmm..
found it funny
Mine to Keep
Tragedies and disappointments of life
Star Log: Winter 2014
Winter is here my good friends... just cope, it will all be over soon! Cheers! Oh, and stay warm if you find yourself in the deep freeze!
Garth Brooks and the altogether cranky poet
Revisits Garth Brooks and ensuing chaos, references encounter with celebrated poet in Dublin who was miffed initially cause a passerby didn't purchase a book, but who ultimately proved to be a true gent. Limited appeal I know, but I like it!!
My Inbox
It's like this..I am just crazy enough to be fun! But not certifiable...yet! Caffeine!
Jim
An accident happened to my brother Jim When somebody threw a tomatoe at him Tomatoes are soft and usually don't hurt the skin But this one a 'specially packed in a tin! :-)
My bro jim,
I just saw another poets poem called jim and I too have a brother called jim, He is a character and very funny ,,we miss him but he be home soon with girlfriend and will be a dad soon ,,
DEFEAT
PARABLE
Anchored.
Good day Mr Drew How do you do? I'm still feeling oddly From thinking of your body Oh me! oh my! Mr Andrew sir What a big anchor You have hanging there! Is it quite robust? Is that a spot of rust? Allow me to clean it It needs a wome
Tamatoes
just for laughs
Doctor humour
Nearly Xmas, time to write some humour..
Summertime
Summertime, Ella Fitz.., what great lyrics. Here's the backwoods version.
Mandela Effect
Mandela effect what's it all about Either it is or it isn't once I was for sure But now I have some doubts Are there any old history teachers still around I need someone to clear up my mind Of all the crazy things I've accidently found I'd
Gnome aching things right.
A little fun with the sprinkler...
Juju
life within the walls
WHAT?
Did you know that George (in some reality show) lost his watch in the snow?, Did you know that Stan was not really a man?, No? . neither did I,., but SHE did,,, ..........................................................OMG OMG, where do you live?, Do
She Gets By with Saying I'm Sorry
She gets by with saying I'm sorry While I get stuck with a broken heart Women get away with a lot of things And it happens right from the start She's had a really good life While I'm still waiting on the lottery She made somebody else a reall
ME PLURRY ORANGE SOCKS.
Have you ever been to Orange in the middle of Winter ? All you need is some warm clothes & a Toddy. The locals don't seem to mind the Winter but the travellers certainly feel it. It certainly was an eye opener for this visitor and I have never forgotten the warm hospitality....Maymyo.
Shy guys.
Don't be shy.. Just say hi.. I don't bite. ??
WORDPLAY
If from sleep I awaken I'm alive If I never wake up again I'm dead - which however I cannot experience I think this is unfair and to offer Death its fair share of existence I now rename ‘Life’ ‘Death’ At last I can enjoy the '
THE PERSIAN PETARD
In a Tehran hotel I asked for a room “a small one if possible please” A young man with keys escorted me up a couple of flights selected a door and went in He told me the price and concealing my shock I decided on saving my face by requesting
THE SECOND THOUGHT
What is more boring than dying? It’s a terrible waste of time: lying there twiddling my eyebrows or dreaming up words that might rhyme. Why don’t I chant a ‘te deum’ or swear repenting remorse or scream for succour or sanctum or plead for
Venting!
And the cost of living is rising faster than the tide, We have no control, just along for the ride, I can’t go on holiday, I can’t go away, I can’t be there, and I can’t afford to stay, Foreign interference makes life a misery, for all of y
Romantic or what?
I could see the raindrops falling, and the comet in the sky, but there was a vision that enthralled from the corner of my eye, and I wondered was I dreaming and I wondered how this could be, because I have no peripheral vision, and I cant bloody s
Time to sleep
Sitting here looking at my glasses, I've noticed they make my eyes blurry, the more I use them the less I can see, I wonder, how can this be? Is it my age?, or my demenour?, when my woman comes in I cant even see her! I think I should clean them, if
Drink me
I do write quite a few funny ones too
The Easter Bunny
HOPPY EASTER! Hugz, Pink
Mystic Meg
Just a little poem about mystic Meg .hahaha .
riddle
I am a handle to hold what the mind enfolds soft in a lovers ear or quiet as a mothers tear i can draw you close or make you run in fear I can be long or short or one or two or in the middle too I am the same for me and you but not the same its
IRREPARABLE
Some things can't be repaired! It came to mind....... I detest politics! tweaked 11/30/17
Dear Deer
I spend 10 years writing this poem
List
I've decided to write my bucket list......... 1. Mop bucket Thats it!
Love on the edge of town
tread carefully
Silly Rhyme
Just having fun with rhymes....
Are You Willing?
Wrote this one 4-7-94. A real off the wall poem instead of a usual song, but when you look back almost 30 years later, you wonder what the Hell was I thinking or doing at the time when I wrote this! lol Until then...
Little April
blues lyrics, calendar love
Nothing?
Sometimes, nothing means more!