**_**
Better To Give Without Promising ... What To Promise Without Holding ...
NO MORE FREEBIRD (Listen to Freebird as you sing along)
There was a discussion on a band page about how entertainers are tired of being asked to sing Freebird while they are setting up. So I wrote... "Freebird is very popular and it brings back a lot of good memories for some people. I suggest that bands modify the song to make it fun for you. The most popular part is the outro ending. So if your band has a sax or 2 play it with the sax. If you have a very ambitious drummer, play it with the drums. Play just the last verse and ending. Be creative and change the words." After posting that to the website, my friend dared me to rewrite Freebird to express the sentiment. So, I did.
A Funny Story in Song...
Song/Artist in case you don’t know or forgot… The Night Chicago Died/Paper Lace; Photograph/Def Leppard; Sister Christian/Night Ranger; Centerfold/J. Geils; Red Red Wine/UB40; Wild World/Cat Stevens; Boys of Summer/Don Henley; Keep on Smiling/Wet Willie; Rock Lobster/B52s; Two Pina Coladas/Garth Brooks; Friends in Low Places/Garth Brooks; That Smell/Lynyrd Skynyrd; Jumpin' Jack Flash/Rolling Stones; Hell's Bells/ACDC; Black Magic Woman/Santana or Mac; Ladies Night/K&G; Brother Louie/Stories; Waiting For A Girl Like You/Foreigner; Mandy/Manilow; People Get Ready/Rod Stewart; Rock The Casbah/The Clash; Brandy/Looking Glass; The Boys Are Back in Town/Thin Lizzy; One Tin Soldier/Joan Baez; Horse With No Name/America; Bad Bad Leroy Brown/Jim Croce; Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/Beatles; Go on Take the Money and Run/Steve Miller Band; Don’t Take The Girl/Tim McGraw; Midnight Special/Creedence; Home By The Sea/Phil Collins; Island Girl/Elton John; Jukebox Hero/Foreigner; No No/Ringo Starr; Neon Moon/Brooks and Dunn; Bad to the Bone/ZZ Top; All I Want to Do is Make Love To You/Heart; Nights in White Satin/Moody Blues; Gimme all your lovin'/ZZ Top; Two Tickets to Paradise/Eddie Money; Bang Your Head/Quiet Riot; Pina Colada Song/Jimmy Buffet; Believe/Cher; Love Story/Katharine McPhee; Sitting on the Dock of the Bay/Otis Redding; Ahab the Arab/Ray Stevens; I Shot the Sheriff/Eric Clapton; Don’t Mess Around With Jim/Jim Croce; Big John/Johnny Cash; Get Together/Youngbloods; Layla/Eric Clapton; Solitary Man/Neil Diamond; Do you think I’m Sexy/Rod Stewart; You Better You Bet/The Who; Jet Airliner/Steve Miller; Rio/ Duran Duran; Magic Carpet Ride/Crystal Method; Midnight Train to Georgia/Gladys Knight; Band On The Run/Paul McCartney and Wings; I Swear/John Michael Montgomery; I’ve Got Too Much Time On My Hands/Styx; Keep on Rockin’ Me Baby/Steve Miller Band
Unsanitary Blindness
A tank full of water, a bowl filled with pee, I drank from the toilet and now I can't see.
ODE TO A WASP
Wasps bastards with wings
Rent
This is one of the funniest clips by Will Ferrell I have ever seen. He is talking to a three year old girl in this comedy bit.
Transatlantic Translation Failure
No comment ;)
The Heart's Conflict
This the feeling when you fall in love.A confusion,a state of dilemma is there.
What is a soulmate? Lol.
The difinitive guide to soulmates ----------------------------------------------------------- 1. A soulmate is a woman who saw me standing on the street corner staring aimlessly into space and said hello anyway because I looked so pathetic. 2.
A mortician's love poem.. Lol
It's obvious that most women in the world will be swooning over this passionate overture of undying love. What can I say? Some guys just got it going on. Lets get some pizza up in this house! Lol. Cafe
Sweet
Girl you so sweet I would maybe like to meet. I hope you like KFC that's the place to be so think about it girl so I can sweep you off your feet.
CA LuPa
Why is ever girl on this site like fifty or more. Is there any mid age women like twenty or even thirtys on this site let me know if you would like to talk about to quit .
Meek mill
Why feed her red lobster when you got the dollar menu .
Art of war VI
Come. listen while i melt your ear. Like sweet honey down your neck. Pooling on clavicle. Dripping down bosom and chest Sultry thick steam. Passion, the spark igniting the fog. Uncontrollable. Chain reaction. unstoppable. No anxiety.
Maine is good for snow, and dogs.....
I wrote this poem being silly, and stewpid.......
Extremely
particularly fond maternal affection once offered
Nothing
I think I should write about NOTHING, cause today, I have NOTHING to say, and NOTHING is more than its parts, it can ease or break many hearts, NOTHING means such a lot, you either have or you have not!, And NOTHING plays such a part, NOTHING can't g
Our World
Lets start a whole new world, just you and me, we will banish bankers, politicans, big business,leave everyone equal, how would THAT be?, are they as equal as me, hey, I'm taller, I need more space, cant be stuck face to face, and theres another, h
Mountain full of Gold
Is a music like I toke as a poem
13/26
Competition, who can write the longest sequence of rhyme using only one entry per time per letter in the alphabet. e.g. collide and cried is not allowed, just use one. I got through 13/26 letters in this one. Wonder if at, bat, cat could go more? Over to you if you can beat 13..
Lower Back Pain
I've got Lower Back Pain and its so hurt.
Gardeners Dilemma!
Marigolds in June can thrive, its Cosmos that do survive, in April and May, who knows what to say, but certain roses bloom all year round, Chantilly Lace shows its grace, but Cinnamon Snow is the way to go. I think, well, it's swim or sink!
Older questions!
At twenty one and twenty five, you wonder who will be alive, at forty one and forty five, you just don't know who will thrive, at fifty one and sixty one, you wonder why you're not gone!
Onward we go.
The art of communication has changed, rearranged, instead of "I said", its now, "I was like" instead of " I said back" it's "I turned around and said", so they are constantly turning around (for no reason) being like something (for no reason) and T
Well, this is how it is!
So the Russians are on our shore, monstrous entity too big to IGNORE, and we will float out with our toys, pretend we are bigger, lies, we are just tiny,, little one fishing trawler,, ok,,, we know you are taller, you go away,,, and Ill have nothi
SMUGJOY
Close to dawn well before the first slivers of sun you already foresaw with a shiver of glee what a wonderful day it was going to be so why do a repeat? Because towards twilight there'll be double-delight in the pro
Joe
What good are all your millions Joe, if you have to pee and you can’t go!
Prank Videos I've Watched
I've been spending a lot of my time on the internet watching various prank videos. The fake eggs is my favorite.
the other day
damn tree, and its roots
canderel
Your just like canderel, the artificial sweetener. full of shite I dont understand. not real and leave's a bitter after tasting pill. need double the amount just to compensate. dissolves in second's, but remains. that slightly unnatural feeling it p
That is Me
Well, That is me.....
Doctor humour 2
Adapted from a Frank Carson joke
Mannish
As I look back on my adolescence I realize I was quite precocious, the folk back then called it "mannish" in regard to boy's, and "womalish" in the case of girl's. I laughed out loud several times as I penned these memories. I hope the reader gets as much enjoyment from the reading, as I have the writing. ( I don't know if this should go under the catagory of "child" or " humor" ? Child humor?.
Sweet treats
A yummy yummy couplet
INTERNAL LIE DETECTOR
Real reaction I feel when I'm untruthful, whether on purpose or not.
Dilemma Lemon
I got something you want to read You got something you want to say But you can't say a thing cause you don't write Now aint that a dilemma lemon So here is another line Won't you take another bite Detectives are everywhere but poetry is no
Cousins
I like my cousins they all like me They're the best cousins that ever could be They've all got medals for good behavior And they are humble naturally They're all good lookin' with hearts of gold And talk of bravery there's none so bold The
The Doctor
My mind keeps playing the role of a doctor Another therapy session every day or two There was a girl that's why my chart has lots of pages doctor My mind keeps trying to fix my heart from missing you The doctor says this is all very confidentia
like & I do not like
I do not like like & I do not lik
Crossing Over : One Man's Escape From Amish Life
A parody of a book I started to read called Crossing Over: One Woman's Escape from Amish Life by Ruth Irene Garrett.
P.S.PU
I was writing her a letter the other day Thinking so hard on what to say Roses are red and violets are blue There's a skunk in the garden, p.s.pu I know you expected more lines than this Please understand my love I'm dancing the polecat twist
SPORT
Frustration at the one eyed nature of Australian sports broadcasters takes Parochialism to dizzying heights! O dear I could have included this! How can you get well from an illness you have had all of your life-ie "a sports fan"?