Here is a list of Humor Poems. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
I wonder
I wondered lonely to find a star,
Through my telescope I could not find,
The one with the twinkiest grin,
That dazzled me like a diamond,
Reflection in my eyes,
Glittering teardrop s.
I say my goodbye,
But I think your just hiding and feeling shy,
David Blaine told me star shooting love hearts,
Engraved ,
I love those love hearts,
They used to sell them in the shop,
Now star has brought them back,
Oh sweet star wherever you are ,
Shining and lets play hide and seek,
Call next week
Through my telescopic mic robotic telescope,
Peach.
Through my telescope I could not find,
The one with the twinkiest grin,
That dazzled me like a diamond,
Reflection in my eyes,
Glittering teardrop s.
I say my goodbye,
But I think your just hiding and feeling shy,
David Blaine told me star shooting love hearts,
Engraved ,
I love those love hearts,
They used to sell them in the shop,
Now star has brought them back,
Oh sweet star wherever you are ,
Shining and lets play hide and seek,
Call next week
Through my telescopic mic robotic telescope,
Peach.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2015
About this poem:
Influenced by a astronomic bionic visitation,Don't tell the pope,
Being New
Being new on the site is like a little baby geeting a fright..
Ya dream of wine and dine..ya dream of a lady dressed devine..
but instead reality kicks in and with so many proflies it seems ya just cant win..
To be alone is gods great sin..
Messed around with a girl in an alley way once..think we did it on top of a bin..
Some girls think I'm cute with my irish chin..
thats not to mention my cheeky grin..
If your out there and listening...
I need your put in..
Ya dream of wine and dine..ya dream of a lady dressed devine..
but instead reality kicks in and with so many proflies it seems ya just cant win..
To be alone is gods great sin..
Messed around with a girl in an alley way once..think we did it on top of a bin..
Some girls think I'm cute with my irish chin..
thats not to mention my cheeky grin..
If your out there and listening...
I need your put in..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2015
Post CommentI have been thinking.....
Really though does anyone else out there think the Easter Bunny and the Toothfairy are in cahoots of sorts? Or as i like to call the Toothfairy, the body parts mafia! Well i mean you lose your teeth at first as a young child but hey there is it.... money. What do children love to buy? CANDY! Oh yes that sugary goodness that makes your teeth fall out! It is like a never ending cycle. If that doesn't sound like some partnership i don't know what is.
You have disappointed me Mr Peter Cottontail to the fullest. In the end i hope the Toothfairy keeps you happy and keeps your secret on how you really sh*t out those chocolate eggs.
So very heartbroken,
Ginny
PS So don't come hoping down my bunny trail with your tricks. If you do, do it at your own risk as you may become bunny stew. So fluff off!
You have disappointed me Mr Peter Cottontail to the fullest. In the end i hope the Toothfairy keeps you happy and keeps your secret on how you really sh*t out those chocolate eggs.
So very heartbroken,
Ginny
PS So don't come hoping down my bunny trail with your tricks. If you do, do it at your own risk as you may become bunny stew. So fluff off!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Mar 2015
Post Comment
The junk collector`s bedtime story
It was found on the street,and then put in the trunk.And it topped off a full load of nothing but junk.Though it no longer ran,but was so very clean,`twas the junkiest junk that ever was seen.When I got it home,they said "see if it starts." Then I had noticed,its missing some parts.So I then looked around for some parts I could use,then I had thought,how much time could I lose? So I looked at the clock and I found lots of stuff.Then I had wondered,is all this enough? I got it to work.It worked well but was old.I decided to keep it unless it got sold.Many things have I found,all that had been thrown out,and that`s what this story was really about.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2013
About this poem:
I wrote "The junk collector`s bedtime story"simply to put into words what is one favorite American pastime.As a part time flea market vendor,I just hate to see anything good going to waste.If I find stuff that nobody else wants,I will find out why they got rid of it.If I can fix it,OK.I might use it,keep it,sell it,or trade it.If nothing else,use it for parts to repair other stuff.Some stuff that`s no good I might still save to use as an example to match up replacement parts.If I find something and then discover that its` completely worthless,I can always just put it back where I found it.What really gets me is that people throw stuff out 5 minutes before they need it,only for me to fix it and sell it right back to them.The resale value is ultimately,only as much as what people are willing to pay.But if you have a lot of good used items,if you sell it for a cheap price,you won`t be able to sell it fast enough.
I got a kiss!
I got a kiss from a little girl,
I was twenty and she was twelve,
I smell jasmine scent on her face,
She blushes and pull my hair!
I am her knight in pajamas,
Little did I know that I would be her victim,
A crush on that age would be so enormous,
One day she would shudder at the thought of kissing a frog!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Mar 2014
Post Comment
Time Ticks Away
Time is our friend
each second ticks away
There time to work
and a time to play
There is a time to love
and time to age
Tick tock the seconds tick away
Time gives us daylight
and turns into night
Where has the years gone
as the time ticks away
My eyelids are heavy now
as I sleep time away
Tomorrow I will wake for a new day
I wish I could stop time now as I age
But that darn clock keeps ticking away
each second ticks away
There time to work
and a time to play
There is a time to love
and time to age
Tick tock the seconds tick away
Time gives us daylight
and turns into night
Where has the years gone
as the time ticks away
My eyelids are heavy now
as I sleep time away
Tomorrow I will wake for a new day
I wish I could stop time now as I age
But that darn clock keeps ticking away
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Mar 2015
Post Comment
HO....HO.....HO!...........lol
With a WHOOOOOSH……and a WHIZZZ,
Scattering snow with a fizz,
Children looking anxiously, for the slightest sign,,
He is skimming ‘cross the sky, performing tricks with time,
While mere mortals are out in the night air shivering,
He is squeezing down every chimney delivering,
Or even the smallest gap….some think this an impossibility,
As not all have chimneys you see, not in the city,
But, as at the same time, he is both here and there,
With speed his cloak of invisibility, he gets everywhere,
On every child who believes, he will call,
As surely as frosty winter follows fall,
To all in the neighbourhood,
Especially to those who have been……
Extra specially….. Good!
Scattering snow with a fizz,
Children looking anxiously, for the slightest sign,,
He is skimming ‘cross the sky, performing tricks with time,
While mere mortals are out in the night air shivering,
He is squeezing down every chimney delivering,
Or even the smallest gap….some think this an impossibility,
As not all have chimneys you see, not in the city,
But, as at the same time, he is both here and there,
With speed his cloak of invisibility, he gets everywhere,
On every child who believes, he will call,
As surely as frosty winter follows fall,
To all in the neighbourhood,
Especially to those who have been……
Extra specially….. Good!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2010
About this poem:
I BELIEVE!!!!!......xxx
Greedy date haiku
My tummy is full
just finished a cheeseburger
finished with those fries?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Mar 2015
Post Comment
AFFAIRS
I COMPARE THEM TO, UNDERWEAR! YOU CHANGE THEM, FREQUENTLY; AND WHEN YOU GET ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE ELSE; YOU DATE THEM, SECRETLY! I'LL NEVER AGAIN, GET INVOLVED; FOR ENDINGS TO AFFAIRS; ARE TOO EASILY SOLVED! FOR AN AFFAIR TO SUCCEED; AND TURN INTO A FLOWER, AND NOT A WEED; YOU MUST HAVE TWO PEOPLE, WHO ARE SO MUCH ALIKE; THAT THEY CAN SETTLE, FOR THE LOVE OF THE DAY; AND REMEMBER, HOW IT FELT; SHOULD LIGHTNING STRIKE!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2015
About this poem:
YOU'LL HAVE MANY OF THEM, UNLESS, YOU DON'T CHANGE, YOUR UNDERWEAR!
who are: you
Who are you
On mounted pedastals
High above
You look and stir
Motionless
You stand
Jessters in hand
Poissed in figure
Cold to touch
Vains deep
Marbled white
Elegant figure
Moulded from life
Chisled jaw figure smooth
Young you are
Now motionless
for all to see
Cast in stone
For all to see
On mounted pedastals
High above
You look and stir
Motionless
You stand
Jessters in hand
Poissed in figure
Cold to touch
Vains deep
Marbled white
Elegant figure
Moulded from life
Chisled jaw figure smooth
Young you are
Now motionless
for all to see
Cast in stone
For all to see
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2015
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