Humor Poems (1,868)

Words aren't enough
To express the way I feel about you
Oh, I can tell you I love you
And I need you
But words aren't enough

I long to hold you tight
Gaze into your beautiful brown eyes
Taste your ruby red sweet lips
Slide my hands down your hot curvaceous body
Slip off your clothes and
Caress you all over
Followed by soft kisses from head to toe
And then......

Oh, words are definitely not enough.

Always saw the lights
weathered words or
moonlit
nights

As different colours

spread so at ease


A thought of silence
a working


insight to see
could it be me?


Nope
yet a little ant

reveling my rant

coursing my way
back

Macri es el presidente
Macri es un gato
Tiene bigotes
Y el pelo blanco

Macri gato
Afeitate el bigote
Pareces puto
Y me das asco

Macri gato
Presidente malo
Tiene olor a culo
Y cara de pelotudo

Macri chupate una polla
Viejo sorete de mierda
Neoliberalistas
Vayanse todos a la mierda

The cricket's in a thicket, jumping all over, all the kids wanna pick it . . . . he's leapin from blade to blade, his color's dark! hide in the shade. . . . peeking out from the rock, all he see's, shoes an socks. . . . hair upside down eye ball's faced on a frown, hand reaches in, fingers in pinch, one more escape oh my a cinch . . . . hop to the air clenched fist why'd i dare . . . . black spot spit, yuck, yikes, shake thats it. . . . onto blade under rock, once again shoe's an sock's!

Dear Deer, You are more Dear to me than a deer in the Forest



There you go

Do not steal this book my lad,
For fifty cents it cost my Dad.

And if you die ,the Lord will ask,
" Now , where is that book you stole?"

And you would say, "I do not know".
The Lord will say, "Just step below".

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a ~

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a ~

Hear the kids at play ~

It says to all have a wonderful Day ~

It’s just a simple tune and yet!

It wishes glad tidings to all that hears

One can visualize a marching band

Of children big & small

At the head of the ragged orphans is a skinny cheer

leader girl

Twirling a baton followed by a child

Banging a tin can like a drum.

One boy makes like he has a tuba …. going oompa,

oompa!

Another child makes like he is playing a trombone

A little girl is using a stick as if it were a flute

They enjoy the simple things of life

Would you like to join our band and be young again!

We need someone to ring the marching bells or play

The tambourines ~

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a

Remember the good old days my friend

For like all good things they soon will end ~

The Leader of the Band
JimEee

Here it is ladies!)The definitive test
concerning the true state of your mental
faculties. Just for fun you might wanna
take this test to see if you're really
insane. Results will be scored by people
who learned more and more about less and
less until they finally knew everything
about nothing. Be of good cheer! What do
you have to lose?
Ok, here we go.Just answer yes or no to
each question and we promise not to publish the results on the six o'clock
news.
For the ladies:
1. When you first meet a CS date in a public place do you steer away from the
clubs and bars fearing your new date
might discover how many jerks you beat
the hell out of just for being stupid?
2. Do you communicate with the spare tire
in the trunk of your car?
3. If you have red hair and the letter of
your first name begin's with 'L,' do you
think that means you've decended from
someone famous?
4. Did you ever want to be a witch?
5. Do you believe that the Wizard of
Oz had the hots for the wicked witch
of the west?
6. If so, would you be the brides maid
at their wedding?
7. Does being insane take most of the
stress out of your life?
8. At your job, would your coworkers raise
an eyebrow if you showed up wearing nothing but a pink thong, while you're screaming out that you are the true Joan
of Ark?
8. Are you the twin daughter of different
mother?
9. Have you ever suspected that the common
house fly has a better grasp on Einstein's
theory of relativity than you do?
10. Do you wish that you had invented the
toilet?
11. Have you ever confessed to a priest
why you've never worn a bra in church?
12. Do you believe that Mickey Mouse could
whip your boy friends A*s?
13. Do you feel unjustifiably good
about yourself because you paid for
your boyfriends rent just because he
lived in the woods for the last seven
years?
14. Have you ever set fire to your new
dates house with his very own "romantic
candles?"
15. Do you believe that men are not much
further along the evolutionary scale than, let's say, the cockroach you just swept
off your back porch?
16. Are you still reluctant to reveal to
your inner circle of friends you
confide your true feelings to a water
buffalo at the zoo?
17. If yesterday was tomorrow, and
next week was the last Thursday in
the second month of 296 BC. would
you take the day off and go skinny
dipping?
18. Does the word 'slop', make you
want to seek professional counciling?
19. If this next question had no answer,
would you ever again be able to look
your neighbors cat in the eye?
20. Do you still believe that Peter Pan
wrote the Declaration of Independence?
21. Is the FBI still confused as to why
they cannot find your last 17 boyfriends?
22. Do you still believe that your mailman
is the product of a genetic experiment by
beings from another planet?


There it is ladies. The ultimate test of
sanity or insanity. But it's all good!
Go forth. Be fruitful and multiply!
Cafe

You'll freak when you see this filthy beast,Just look at all these mangled teeth, And my face you'd say, is a dripping mess, But on my planet I'm truly blessed, When I was born they threw a mighty feast,To celebrate their grusome beast, They served it two times dead dipped on a stick, Then slung it in my face like a bucket of spit, I grew and grew, and was belched from my nest, Then left to rot, until I looked my best, I mated with something I scraped off a rock, Now the eggs are hatching in our beastly flock, Your planet was ripe for colonization, Just begging for a mass invasion, So I gathered my brood of hungry crunchers, Hundreds and hundreds of mangling munchers, We hitched a ride on a speeding comet, And slammed the earth like a ball of vomit, Now we're licking our chops in anticipation, So happy to announce your extermination, Like we're soooo gonna' trash your habitation, Cause an Alien Skillet is your destination! cafetwo2010

Hi..

and to say it Again..Hello!
I knew you would see this
and I came here and saw
that, Yes,!# You are
HERE!
I am 170 cm in my body
Length if somebody
made me stand
against a wall.@/
To add to this i Am
208,137,000 seconds
Old
My anatomical neurology
number is 43.6
I ask mY doctor WHat
that meant and he
t old me to go
To hell
I thanked him and sEnt
his grandmother a
christmas card..@
Last Thursday I was
struck by lightNing
And three hours later
I c o u l d speak
In Portuguese
YOU need to know these
things about me if we
are going to Go to
tHe store and EAt
The hamburger
To gether..
I like to laugh A Lot.
I would laugh in your
Mothers face BUT she
w ould beat me like
A Dog!
My country was destroyed
bY a swarm of flys and
and I hid under a
Dead Cow
I must now write you
tO see if you're good
EnoUgh to pass a
m edical history test
to give me the birth
O f my children
We and our children
Can jump in the sunshine
as long as the FBI
doesn't want to shoot
you in your privates
Meet me at the airport
and kiss me three
Times
I will bake you something
i can fry in a
bucket..
thank you cause you
are HAndsome when
I looked at your
pRofile and I knew that
yOu would not Put
mE down and make me
cry when i read about
it in the newspaper..#