Humor Poems (1,868)

Good day Mr Drew
How do you do?
I'm still feeling oddly
From thinking of your body 

Oh me! oh my!
Mr Andrew sir
What a big anchor 
You have hanging there!

Is it quite robust?
Is that a spot of rust?
Allow me to clean it
It needs a womens touch

Oh no! oh gosh!
How Mr Drew?
When I touched your anchor
It covered me in goo!

Drunken bloody puke up
Over the side
Someone yells he’s burlin’ up
On this bloody boat ride
Who organized the pecks paste sangers
On this fishing trip
Along with all this alcohol
Sh*t I think I’m getting ripped
This dodgy food and drinking
And the fish guts everywhere
I think I’ve had enough
Not that anyone would care
I surely can’t wait till I get back to the shore
Because if I was asked again
I would do this no more

Crumbling awake
Awake!

Upon these boards I shake
To give you!
The circle of play

I shall do

Throw me the uncertain words
Let slip up these boards

For I shall
Grab you

There is death upon life
who is to choose

The eyes of sin
the body of an unfortunate sin

sullen
you grieve

To another planet
you leave

To whom shall he say
I have but loved no more
yet treason,steps upon my door step

To curl the fathom of the sword
what greatest depth shall I swallow

Seek you're hanging branch
Snap
if you will run

Yet with simple steps
caressed
with lonely heart

Be but strong
My heart lay

For ever in the eye

Stupefied by hands
dumb founded
by words

To touch
is yet unknown
to sleep
Is well

She's ripping my heart out
Tearing at my guts
Call it zombie love

Our clothes are all torn and tattered
To bathe or not doesn't seem to matter
Call it zombie love

We dance so slow it's called a zombie waltz
And when we talk it's in the language of mumble
And we hold hands every time we stumble
Call it zombie love

We move slower than a bunch of turtles
We never jump over any high hurdles
My name is Manfred and hers is Myrtle
Call it zombie love

When I was age five
Fairy tales were still alive

Along came 15
Wow now I’m a teen

An aspiring adult at 25
Things are just coming alive

Not a young adult at 35
But still keeping my stride

Middle age at 45
Old age is a far cry

Oh dear now 55
Managing to still thrive

Today I will turn 65
Still here and am alive!

who was it that said? "Don't sit under the apple tree
with anyone else but me.
Was it Adam or was it Eve?
The Gardner,spoke with Adam
But never spoke with Eve,
Eve was in the garden
Talking to the tree;.
"
" Take a bite of apple
And your eyes will open wide,
Then give some to Adam
As he stands by your side.
Then you both shall see
Knowledge at its best.
Go ahead sweetie,
this is not a test."

It was"the crunch heard
round. the world,
"A tree,talking to a girl.

Then Adam came upon the scene
"sake a bite", Eve did scream,
Your eyes will open wide,
"?Oh! have you seen a Fig tree,
There something I must hide?

Adam took a bite.
" You don't need a fig tree,
Not according to my site,
Said Adam with a smile
All for Eve's delight.


Then the Gardener came on sight
With a roar and full of might.
And hollered out a quip.
'Listen up guys your
Going on a trip.".
Eve spoke the words,
" How long doo we stay?"
Never mind the details
Your trip is

all one way.
Have a lot of fun tilling in the soil,
And Eve, on having children,
You will. forget the pain
But not before it rains.

who was it that said? "Don't sit under the apple tree
with anyone else but me.
Was it Adam or was it Eve?
The Gardner,spoke with Adam
But never spoke with Eve,
Eve was in the garden
Talking to the tree;.
"
" Take a bite of apple
And your eyes will open wide,
Then give some to Adam
As he stands by your side.
Then you both shall see
Knowledge at its best.
Go ahead sweetie,
this is not a test."

It was"the crunch heard
round. the world,
"A tree,talking to a girl.

Then Adam came upon the scene
"sake a bite", Eve did scream,
Your eyes will open wide,
"?Oh! have you seen a Fig tree,
There something I must hide?

Adam took a bite.
" You don't need a fig tree,
Not according to my site,
Said Adam with a smile
All for Eve's delight.


Then the Gardener came on sight
With a roar and full of might.
And hollered out a quip.
'Listen up guys your
Going on a trip.".
Eve spoke the words,
" How long doo we stay?"
Never mind the details
Your trip is

all one way.
Have a lot of fun tilling in the soil,
And Eve, on having children,
You will. forget the pain
But not before it rains.

There once was a pig named Fred
who sadly it has to be said
was a tad overweight
and couldn't fit through the gate
so spent all his days in his bed.

running in circles
going nowhere fast
round and round
I won't last

Spinning my wheels
like a clock
times my enemy
tick, tick tock

To make do
with what I got
that I do
and do alot

I guess I'll run
perhaps break the cycle

I could be stuck
or out of luck
still I run
and
run a muck

Wish I was in a square
so I could find an angle
instead of no escape
yea mabe something like a triangle

Oh well who knows
time comes and goes

So what if i'm in some nowhere land
I like being lost, you know and understand
so come on, don't be in a band
not when you could just grab my hand