Here is a list of Humor Poems. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
Anomaly
The snow in the middle of spring
How abnormal is it.
As if the day light cut
Into my night dream,
As if the cities are drowned
In a snowy road.
As if the happiness
Is stalled
And the earth is stopped.
What was it all?
Maybe the Moon
Felt madly in love
With the North Pole?
How abnormal is it.
As if the day light cut
Into my night dream,
As if the cities are drowned
In a snowy road.
As if the happiness
Is stalled
And the earth is stopped.
What was it all?
Maybe the Moon
Felt madly in love
With the North Pole?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2021
About this poem:
I had recently a birthday .. usually it was a warm sunny day. but this time it suddenly started to snow, it was a little bit strange and unusual....)))
Mosquito Coast
The Indians thought they had it most
the English brought them tea and toast
the Spanish weren't a worthy host
the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
the airline tickets in the post
the weathers fine you have to boast
but its hard to find a Sunday roast
if your chips are down on the Mosquito Coast
the English brought them tea and toast
the Spanish weren't a worthy host
the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
the airline tickets in the post
the weathers fine you have to boast
but its hard to find a Sunday roast
if your chips are down on the Mosquito Coast
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2021
About this poem:
East coast of Nicaragua and Honduras, named after Miskito Indians. Harrison Ford movie, not that I've seen it.The ghost of Chairman Mao
I was running in Majorca
at some indecent hour
when in the road
I came upon
the ghost of Chairman Mao
The acrylic shorted stalker
stopped me with a bow
I kneed him in the bollock zone
the ghost of Chairman Mao
He didn't take it kindly
a spectral sort of sour
then dropped me with a Kung Fu leap
the ghost of Chairman Mao
I hiked it down an alleyway
but with supernatural power
he relieved me of my running shorts
the ghost of Chairman Mao
So take it as a warning
as a warning take it now
its best to raise a platitude
if you meet the ghost of Chairman Mao
at some indecent hour
when in the road
I came upon
the ghost of Chairman Mao
The acrylic shorted stalker
stopped me with a bow
I kneed him in the bollock zone
the ghost of Chairman Mao
He didn't take it kindly
a spectral sort of sour
then dropped me with a Kung Fu leap
the ghost of Chairman Mao
I hiked it down an alleyway
but with supernatural power
he relieved me of my running shorts
the ghost of Chairman Mao
So take it as a warning
as a warning take it now
its best to raise a platitude
if you meet the ghost of Chairman Mao
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Mar 2021
About this poem:
In John Cooper Clarke style, some light relief.
~The 3 legged duck~
Triple egg size from where I'm born
The fastest three legged duck on the pond
In my wake you will see, how fast I can be
It's not what you think, oh did I see you wink.
What's on your mind you two legged duck
Some feathers outta place do ya mind if I pluck
Will I look better as a three legged duck
If the feathers from me you'd grab then ya pluck.
Your pluckin's now sittin 6 weeks overdue
Feathers are neat, some spots too few
I'm on three feet, you're just on two
You're sayin pluck me, I say pluck you.
~Bentlee~
The fastest three legged duck on the pond
In my wake you will see, how fast I can be
It's not what you think, oh did I see you wink.
What's on your mind you two legged duck
Some feathers outta place do ya mind if I pluck
Will I look better as a three legged duck
If the feathers from me you'd grab then ya pluck.
Your pluckin's now sittin 6 weeks overdue
Feathers are neat, some spots too few
I'm on three feet, you're just on two
You're sayin pluck me, I say pluck you.
~Bentlee~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Aug 2009
About this poem:
:) ha i love it, cheers all.
coining it
to a five penny piece
I shrunk to the size
as life made me hard
in the head and eyes
so pressed ganged was I
on a leathery ship
that lived in a pocket
on the side of her hip
and life wasn't easy
and life wasn't hard
it was tough bedding down
neath a sharp credit card
a religious medal
and I became mates
and we sung drunken songs
in between great debates
I dated a quarter
but often she snoozed
we laughed at the condom
that never got used
she took us to parties
she lost us in clubs
she found us in drawers
she drank us in pubs
a lipstick for pillow
I smiled at the fates
my blanket a dollar
she got in the states
when the end came
it was cold.. hard and clean
that's how I got here
in this vending machine
I shrunk to the size
as life made me hard
in the head and eyes
so pressed ganged was I
on a leathery ship
that lived in a pocket
on the side of her hip
and life wasn't easy
and life wasn't hard
it was tough bedding down
neath a sharp credit card
a religious medal
and I became mates
and we sung drunken songs
in between great debates
I dated a quarter
but often she snoozed
we laughed at the condom
that never got used
she took us to parties
she lost us in clubs
she found us in drawers
she drank us in pubs
a lipstick for pillow
I smiled at the fates
my blanket a dollar
she got in the states
when the end came
it was cold.. hard and clean
that's how I got here
in this vending machine
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2021
Post CommentHappy Man Blues
Come late, late in the evening
my candle burn down low
Come late, late in the evening
my candle burn down low
we all got peace back in the barnyard baby
the day you decided to go
I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
both red and blue for you baby
'cos you're finally off my mind
my candle burn down low
Come late, late in the evening
my candle burn down low
we all got peace back in the barnyard baby
the day you decided to go
I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
both red and blue for you baby
'cos you're finally off my mind
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2021
About this poem:
Parody of Love in Vainfizzion chips
cambridge on a sunny morn
a professor deep in thought
a quasi quantum quandary
his mind now overwrought
now the kernel of dilemma
the cause of his unease?
with fish and chips for dinner..
should I go with mushy peas?
symbiotic clarity
coupled with his fate
yet the "mushyness" of peas
was abhorrent to his plate
order over chaos
his findings quite profound
yet a theorist
must work backwards
to a premis pure and sound
he expressed it as a formula
elegant in tone
he wrote it on a post-it note
and hung it by the phone
twenty minutes later
his mobile broke the breeze
and a tired gruff glaswegian cried:
" I canna read Chinese!"
a professor deep in thought
a quasi quantum quandary
his mind now overwrought
now the kernel of dilemma
the cause of his unease?
with fish and chips for dinner..
should I go with mushy peas?
symbiotic clarity
coupled with his fate
yet the "mushyness" of peas
was abhorrent to his plate
order over chaos
his findings quite profound
yet a theorist
must work backwards
to a premis pure and sound
he expressed it as a formula
elegant in tone
he wrote it on a post-it note
and hung it by the phone
twenty minutes later
his mobile broke the breeze
and a tired gruff glaswegian cried:
" I canna read Chinese!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2021
Post CommentLittle April
Well I'm in love with little April
but May just down the road
yeah I'm in love with little April
but May just down the road
pretty soon I'll be in to June
and the others don't need to know
but May just down the road
yeah I'm in love with little April
but May just down the road
pretty soon I'll be in to June
and the others don't need to know
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2021
About this poem:
blues lyrics, calendar love
Bottle of Love (A Saga)
For many weeks
I searched high and low
Among soggy cheese sandwiches
Covered with a green dough
Under the bed
With an amount of trepidation
But only found a refugee
From some far off Nation
I checked every drawer
In my very tall chest
And found another refugee
In a very dirty white vest
Behind the sofa
Amidst a furore of dust
No bottle of love
Just a mouldy old pie
With a very hard crust
I searched the kitchen
Though staring evil eyed potatoes
And a mountain of old greens
Then found it hiding
Behind a decrepit tin of beans
I drank with a lust
Hoping to find my lost mate
Then noticed the bottle
Was ten years out of date
My stomach churned
And my blood did boil
And next my trousers
I really did soil
So there is a moral
To a sad and lonely tale
Stick to the sell by date
Or your love life will fail
I searched high and low
Among soggy cheese sandwiches
Covered with a green dough
Under the bed
With an amount of trepidation
But only found a refugee
From some far off Nation
I checked every drawer
In my very tall chest
And found another refugee
In a very dirty white vest
Behind the sofa
Amidst a furore of dust
No bottle of love
Just a mouldy old pie
With a very hard crust
I searched the kitchen
Though staring evil eyed potatoes
And a mountain of old greens
Then found it hiding
Behind a decrepit tin of beans
I drank with a lust
Hoping to find my lost mate
Then noticed the bottle
Was ten years out of date
My stomach churned
And my blood did boil
And next my trousers
I really did soil
So there is a moral
To a sad and lonely tale
Stick to the sell by date
Or your love life will fail
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2018
About this poem:
First one for a couple of years, back to a trusted styleWet Dream
Flowing with smooth own rhythm.
Twisting turning reaching for me.
Cool invigorating alive wearing stone.
So powerful is the sea.
Twisting turning reaching for me.
Cool invigorating alive wearing stone.
So powerful is the sea.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2011
About this poem:
Just checking to make sure everyone is awake out there. lol
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